Recommendation: Rolling Stones - Paint It Black

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Adieu 2007 Welcome 2008

2007 is almost gone. As per the calendar this year has got only 2 hours left. And that's about it. It will be 2008 - like it as 2007 one year back and so on ever since we devised and started following the Georgian Calendar or for that matter any calendar.

It's interesting isn't it? Millions gather on the times Square to watch the ball fall. We count seconds, hours minutes days weeks months years and all these constitute and measure what all we do - at which rate or @. Brings back an thought, why we needed time. Why do we race? Logically, we can't live life without the time as it stands today but what if lets hypothesize - what if there was no time?

"Chaos" - initially to start with. Al those tracking and project management tools scrapped on day one. Minutes - time-lines - deadlines will become meaningless. No Sunday or Monday - no FRIDAY either. how would we predict how many days to Christmas?
How many seconds to an hour. Chaos thats what would be around.
But why will we have this Chaos? Just because we are all so used to it we anticipate that this would be Chaos. It wasn't planned to be like this - I guess. This was all started of by us and is the result of our evolution.

Who needs time? Not US but THEM.
THEM who want to benchmark us. who want to time the rats in the maze. Who comes first? Who is the fastest ? SAD but TRUE.

The fear of the future - the uncertainty and predictability made us measure the time. The fear of the future and the very same uncertainty in some ways have made our life so difficult that we fail to realize that life is good without time also. The future can be left to itself and the past has already happened. The moment is now. Moment is today - why not but enjoy it :) Why create complicated options for ourselves.

And don't think about it. Just live it.

Happy New Year !!!

Stay Beautiful

And the application running smoothly for 1 year goes down

The nightmare - just before a major sales event the Application goes down.
It's too SLOW.

User's are complaining - no clues. You have not done any release.
Everything on servers looks OK. DB is fine.
Memory is available - every thing you can think of is fine.

Shit what happened !!!

Adhoc solution - only 4 GB of data - restore on backup application.
At least the show must go on. Lucky enough - not a big problem - can be handled in this idiotic way but cannot think of any other perfect solution - which has to be done in 1 hr. I know Dirty but thats how it works - launch - at least no one knows whats wrong.

Analysis and analysis.
Analysis and more analysis.

And then you know - one network ADMIN- trying to solve one problem. Changed the routing table !!! WTF!!

So another item added to the list.
Before you check anything - check networking too.

Need Help

I need help regarding lenses and adapters/hood for my CANON S3 IS.
Any one to help me out.

Basically I want to do the Macros.


Contact me. Please if u have any idea !!!

Oracle Tip: Counting ROWS for all tables in a Schema

There are quiet a few methods to find out the count of records in the schema tables.

The most obvious one is to query USER_TABLES for a list of tables - and then append 'select count(*) from ' - save a an sql script and then run it -

Select 'Select '''||table_name||' : ''||count(*) from '||table_name||';',
to_char(sysdate, 'YYYYMMDDHH24MISS') d, user u
from user_tables
order by table_name

Sorry, for those who don't like it.
Even I don't love it but it's OK as it kind of works.

The second option is using the package DBMS_STATS to gather statistics and then just use the table USER_TABLES and the value in the column NUM_ROWS is what will be the number of records. The same can also be used if ANALYZE TABLE is used.

The next one though is a beauty.
It's a wonderful way of generating the XML document then it parses the XML and gets the neat and clean list of the tables and the corresponding record list.

select table_name
,to_number(extractvalue(xmltype(
dbms_xmlgen.getxml(
'select count(*) c from '||table_name))
,'/ROWSET/ROW/C')) count
from user_tables;

Read this interesting article here about the query.


Personally the option to create a table and then store data into it by writing something like a PL/SQL or to save an output (as in option I) seem most boring and irritating to me.

So whats ur pick?
Any better ideas do let me know.

Phaedrus is back

Walked for 5-6 hours in the streets of Singapore - the law doesn't allow to walk on the express ways else would have walked there also.
Have been reading the "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" and like what happened every time I have read it - the spirit hangs over the head and the question keeps popping up.

It rained hard while I was standing at the City Hall station.
Interestingly, never noticed how people react to rain. Different people do different things. Some people run on the road to reach the other side faster.
Never thought that for Singaporeans the next best possible alternative for umbrella was Newspaper. Interestingly, people with umbrellas were more wet then the people without - reason being that those without umbrellas were either not walking in the rain - avoiding it or rather running.
Wish I could take my camera out and capture all those people.
Interestingly, Singaporean kids notice the wet shorts more than the other kinds - may be this is a too good and disciplined of a place.

On the way back on Boat Quay noticed this old man cycling across.
It had been a bad day on road - only two photographs and that two average ones.

With Phaedrus in your head - I guess life is different.

Singapore - @TODO list

Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserve

National Parks Board Singapore

tribute to the fire gods

the jungle karma

The Jungle is interesting - be it concrete or be it natural.
And to find one tropical rain forest in the middle of a concrete city like Singapore is a bliss and we experience one last Saturday.

There are different shades to a jungle.
Each one is distinct - the chirping birds - the beautiful butterflies and moths, the rustling of the leaves, the humidity and the smell of vegetation dead and alive. There are not much animals to see in Singapore jungle but its a well preserved forest that gives a perfect getaway.

Obviously, without the camera the tryst would had been incomplete.

Personally to me the, Jungle represents the cycle of life and death and re-incarnation. The seeds become the sapling and the saplings become the tree, then they decay and become one with the soil and re create themselves. The leaves also follow the same and everything follows the cycle.

The karmic cycle - perfect harmony - it's nature's equilibrium which us humans will never understand or appreciate.



"aaj kafi sanata hai idhar,
log kehte hein kal yaha mela laga tha"

engaging the wild beast

Perhaps you the know the subject, if you know me. Everything that has been known or unknown will loose its interest. It's the second nature to get bored and an eternal desire for more ..more and more..may be all the wines and all the soups before I die.
The eternal insatiable desire to learn and experiment.
Last Sunday was trying to set up an experiment to shoot the liquid droplets - failed miserably with the skill and set up. Wanted to do something more. Started playing with straws and clicked some shots which were at least better than the most I had been shooting lately.




Engaging this wild beast is almost impossible.
Sometimes I wonder is it some dis-order - some system malfunction but whatever it is.
Have to add fuel to this fire all the time other wise it will engulf me.


Just in case you are interested. I have also moved to flickr now. Expect selected favorite snaps on FLICKR too.

And buddies without the feedback how can I improve my skills.

interesting quote

"Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy,
an art for a lover,
an accomplishment for a bachelor
and a Matter of Survival for a married man"

whistling bamboo
forest fire
picture words
thousand desires

just a thought

A "thought" just occurs.
Just like the lights turn on - just like the darkness vanishes when u light a match.We remember the thought - some time we just forget it. Sometimes it's acknowledged and some times it brings back memories from past, sometimes it just fades away. That's the life of a thought.

Just a thought

July 27 : 2+7 27

27 July - Another year gone by working in office.
Ever wondered why some dates are marked by many occasions in life. Makes me feel numerology holds some meaning - some way there is a pattern.
I joined IIT on 27 July - then joined Job on 27 too !!
This year am 27 too this is gonna be one helluva year some one told me long long time ago...the person is dead but 27 is here

Another Saturday is here...Another month another year..another life..another time..another universe....another what

Happy Birthday time!!

Spirit of Simplicity

Long time back somewhere I read Osho talking about the difference between Kabeer and Buddha. He said Buddha is difficult to understand for common people because in order to think how he reached enlightenment - or even just to observe it; it's mandatory for the mind to know what it means to be a Prince. Same goes for Lord RAM also.

Mere mortals struggling in their day to day life may pretend to understand but it's like knowing for the sake of knowing. Believing what you heard.To understand buddha is to like go through the OXFORD HARVARD and read technical papers and scripts of Harappan Civilization.

Kabeer and Bhulle Shan on the other hand were common people like us. They were no princes who had lots of things to give up, weren't educated nor previliged - for them day to day life was business and business was worhsip and a way to god. They were enlightened souls and their way to reach the GOD was though daily chores. Who else can convey such strong messages in such simple words.

"Padh Padh ilm hazaar kitaaba, kadhi apne aap nu padaya nahi
ja ja padte mandir masjid, kabhi man apne padaya nahi"

"Masjid dha de, mandir dha de, dha de jo kucch dainda
Par kisi da dil na dhain, Rab dilan vich rehnda"

"Mulla tay mashaalchi dohaan ikko chit
Loukan karday chananan, aap anhairae vich"

All shades of emotion exist in the words. Every emotion for the lover and the lover is immortal.

"Naiharva Hum Ka Na Bhave
Sai Ki Nagri Param Ati Sundar,
Jahan Koi Jav Na Avey
Chand Suraj Jahan, Pavan Na Pani,
Ko Sundesh Pahunchave
Dard Yeh Sai Ko Sunave
Agey Chalo Panth Nahin Sujhe,
Peeche Dosh Lagawe
Kehi Bidhi Sasure Jau Mori Sajani,
Virha Jor Jarawe
Vishai Ras Nach Nachawe
Bin Satguru Apno Nahin Koi,
Jo Yeh Rah Batawe
Kahat Kabira Suno Bhai Sadho,
Supne Na Pitam Awey
Tapan Yeh Jiya Ki Bujhawey"

Check out Abida Parveen's rendition of Bhulle Shah's poetry on youtube and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's collection. No wonder the passion of Sufism and the visions of sufi's gets translated in such excellent compositions and performances. And jab baat chal he gayi hai Nusrat Sahab ke to, here is one of my favourite track. I just love the composition - awesome lyrics - awesome rendition

The song has multiple meanings and depending on the mood - I have experienced this one differently.

Hesse's Classic - Buddha and Siddharth

I have not spoken to you like this to argue with you, to argue about words. You are truly right, there is little to opinions.But let me say this one more thing: I have not doubted in you for a single moment. I have not doubted for a single moment that you are Buddha, that you have reached the goal, the highest goal towards which so many thousands of Brahmans and sons of Brahmans are on their way.
You have found salvation from death. It has come to you in the course of your own search, on your own path, through thoughts, through meditation, through realizations, through enlightenment. It has not come to you by means of teachings! And--thus is my thought, oh exalted one,--nobody will obtain salvation by means of teachings! You will not be able to convey and say to anybody, oh venerable one, in words and through teachings what has happened to you in the hour of enlightenment!
The teachings of the enlightened Buddha contain much, it teaches many to live righteously, to avoid evil. But there is one thing which these so clear, these so venerable teachings do not contain: they do not contain the mystery of what the exalted one has experienced for himself, he alone among hundreds of thousands.
This is what I have thought and realized, when I have heard the teachings. This is why I am continuing my travels--not to seek other, better teachings, for I know there are none, but to depart from all teachings and all teachers and to reach my goal by myself or to die. But often, I'll think of this day, oh exalted one, and of this hour, when my eyes beheld a holy man."


- Excerpts from the book Siddhartha.

one more night

sleeping wooden floor
thunderstorm rain
pillow bed-cover
vacant room
morning

hailstorm rain ...dry ...rain again...what a race !!!

Nürburgring, the European Grand Prix is over.
Alonso, Massa and Webber finished the race but if u watched the race. This was the most chaotic race I ever watched. And in F1 if the race is chaotic it means a test for not only the best of the car and team but for the strategy. The ability to take risk and it is one of this kind of race where the experience matters.

There were few turning moments of the race and legendary drivers and teams moments:

a) After the qualifying crash Hamilton was back on track racing - in the first part before the race came to the start had to be craned back on track and still finished the race. And boy those two overtake maneuvers against Geancarlo - you are too good to be called a rookie now. You are the wonder boy and your time will come just wait and be patient.

b) Safety Car and Race Restart - what do you do when it doesn't rain - there are heavy rains and a hailstorm. You cannot do anything really. Everybody crashes. F1 cars are not made to sustain in this kind of weather. Excellent decisions by the F1 managers - great going.
We like speed but not at the cost of people getting hurt and injured.

c) The Ferrari Reliability problem sent Räikkönen packing. In case Ferrari wants to claim back the status quo they need to work on reliability. Would it be wrong to say that somebody has bought his luck to Ferrari !!`

c) Massa you are a brilliant driver. Thats all I will say. But, Alonso you are a bloody matador. You ripped part the race leader as if he is no one. Too good man. That was one of the best overtaking maneuvers. Alas, it was Massa who had to take the matador's sword.

d) Schumacher - you were really missed today. This was the race you would had produced a stunning performance. "Rain God" was there but as a delegate - handling over the award to Alonso's Engineer.

An awesome race.
Waiting for the race repeat telecast tomrrow....

Book Recommendation - Harmann Hesse - Siddhartha

"You are the best lover," she said pensively, "that I have ever known. You are stronger that others, more supple, more willing. You have leaned my art well, Siddhartha. Someday, when I am older, I want to have your child. And yet, my dear, you have remained a samana. You don not love me, you love no one. Is that so?

"It may be so," "I am like you. You do not love any one either - how else would you practice love as an art? Perhaps people like us cannot love. The child people can, that is their secret."

-excerpts from the book "SIDDHARTHA" by Hermann Hesse

You can download it for free.
Gutenberg Project - http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/2500

Star Rating: 9/10

Eclipsed

Have been thinking of how to handle the changing times in my life.

Have been trying to work around with the blog layout and templates, but I guess am more in favor of the traditional layouts - they some how look better to me. Some how this change or control makes me feel that am still empowered. Even if this is the only thing that am able to change.

The new picture on the top is partly inspired by what I have been going through lately and the Pink Floyd's ECLIPSE. (In case you haven't still checked out - check out the song on You Tube).

Ever wondered, why the most beautiful sight of an eclipse are near the darkest hour?



"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

the animal instincts

Hey a quick dose for people who were waiting for the ZOO trip
Here is the quickie preview.

If you are interested in more than do visit the link to the Google photo blog

tuesdays with morrie - excerpts from the book

Do you know you are going to die one day.
Yes we all know that human beings have a life span.
We have read all the biology and life sciences and its another fact.
But the person we are talking about is not anyone else but "YOU".
But it's not another FACT of life.

And the moment you can relate that its not some one else we are referring to but "YOU" - a lot of things which appeal a lot will loose there meaning or they will appear as mere things.
A new paradigm will emerge, the outlook to life will change a new path will emerge - the path to salvation or a path of self discovery or the spiritual path. You have the option to ignore it to or to embrace it - whatever you do. It's a temporary decision of today. Cause tomorrow the same path will emerge again and it shall rise every time you realize you are about to die. And until one makes that choice, the same wuestion will keep popping up. one can avoid it, delay it cannot run away from it.And then only you will know what it means to LIVE

Picked up this book in the Chua Chu Kang library and now am reading it sitting in the Jurong East library. A simple book by Mitch Albom about, in his own words "an old man, a young man and life's great lessons".


"When you learn how to die, you learn how to live"


Excerpt I

Yes, I said, but if aging were so valuable, why do people always say "Oh, if I were young again". you never heard people say "I wish I were sixty-five"
He smiled. " You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lived. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found any meaning. Because you have found any meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can't wait till sixty five.
"Listen you should no something.All younger people should know something. If you are battling against getting older, you are always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow.
And the fact is, you are going to die eventually.

Excerpt II

We've got a form of brainwashing going in our country. "Do you know how the brain wash people? They repeat the same thing over and over again. And that's what er do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. more property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. more is good. We repeat it - and have it repeated to us - over and over until no-body bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what's important anymore.

There's a big confusion in this country over what we want and what we need.

bird park

There are not just birds in the bird park..there are people and there are opportunities and more than anything else there is something to do other than work on a weekend...


And just in case you are interested in more animals..i have a visit to the famous Singapore zoo pending.already have the tickets ...so expect some more snaps to be uploaded here soon

F1: McLaren or Ferrari - Catalunya !!

Pick up your side. The greatest season is here and am sure everyone is already feeling the heat.

With the exit of Schumi, hopping of Teams by both Alonso and Kimi to McLaren and Ferrari respectively; the arrival of Hamilton - the battle for the constructors and supremacy has evolved into a real good one.

Just three races - and the season is already so exciting.
Hamilton is definitely the new SPICE fueling the expectations from team McLaren and it might boil down to who is the better driver he or MASA. But considering how the podium and the pole positions are switching between the four McLaren and Ferrari drivers it's never going to be easy until each race unfolds - as the season progresses.

Another good things happening is with the BMW Sauber - the new strategy to start with a lighter car is already working out for them. And with the European circuits coming in, they might be the ones who might slip inside and might be sitting in opening the champagnes.

But whatever happens - for the fans- this is the year !!
After the years of one sided races of Michael Schumi's era when Kimi was mostly second to him - to the advent of the Alonso vs Schumi days - we have reached the climax. Its now the real test for the TEAMS and the DRIVERS - and a TREAT for the FANS....

See you at CENTALUNYA on 13th May - the Spanish Grand Prix ....

reboot bloody REBOOT !!!

There are numerous problems associated with computers which have one solution and there ain't any other generic solutions which cures almost all diseases - the explained ones and the unexplained ones - the REBOOT.

There ain't anything in the animal or plant kingdom which acts the same way. There is no comparison of a medical solution, oh but wish there was one like this. So simple to execute and so powerful. Whatever the problem you understand it or not - you can always give REBOOT a try and be mesmerized then the order is restored.

Was watching TV sitting yesterday and all of a sudden the router dropped. The wi-fi network was up and running but I was not able to access the Internet. Being a techie guy, though oh that's easy. Some problem with a router. The little LINKSYS WRT54G status showed no IP address on the status page. Whatever number of times you try to release or renew the DHCP. Stuck !! What could have gone wrong ...
On a Sunday without internet at home is like being on a summer beach all alone, no friends no music and not even a single person in sight.

Tried

a) Renewing and releasing DHCP
b) Every goddamn configuration and logging option
c) Scanned though all options no the router's application
d) RESET router
e) Removed power for cable modem - restarted the modem
f) Removed power cable for Router - restarted the router.
g) Restarted both

Still nothing !!

Still no results - then pulled out the LAN cable from the router and started browsing for the online help. Thinking the router might have been gone !!

Then came across this term "power cycling the router".

Step 1:
Shutdown the computer.
Step 2:
Unplug the router’s power cable.
Step 3:
Unplug the Broadband modem’s power cable and wait for 30 seconds.
Step 4:
Plug in the Broadband modem’s power cable and wait for its lights to appear stable.
Step 5:
Plug in the router's power cable once the modem’s lights appear stable.
Step 6:
Power on the computer on and test the Internet connection.


And VIOLA !! It works.like every another thing in the computer world.

Some More Interesting Links in case you are stuck with your LINKSYS router:
a) Special note for users with Linksys WRT54G/GL/GS routers, there are severe problems with them when running any P2P app (read for fix)

b) The WRT54G Revival Guide.


Tips For Newbie's

In the world of computers whatever operating system you are using - windows linux or unix or mac - if there is a problem you don't know about - TRY REBOOT - if u are lucky its resolved.
And in case its windows - wow u get performance back to normal too.

Tips For Expert's
Don't know whats wrong - its obviously weird something that cannot be like this.
Try REBOOT - just for a try. Some programmer forgot to clear the stack or may be the memory leaks are too much for the garbage collector to clear up..its just an unstable state now - some smart crooks like you and me forgot the basic programming rules...let the nature clean up all the shit - REBOOT



Whatever you think is a SMART MACHINE - a modem, a router, a computer whatever that has a memory and a processor - embedded or not - will respond to this.
Whatever has been touched by a programmer ever will like this treatment.

Call it the CURSE OF A PROGRAMMER or eternal truth

what have we become...the power the money..corrupted souls currugated moralities

Boris Yeltsin is dead.

The great Russian leader is dead. But the fire is still burning and it will keep burning. "Russian colonialism" and "Chechenisation" never got over for mothers who lost their sons just one day when the so called peace returned in Chechania, the weeping wifes. Where are we heading Mr. Yeltsin and Mr. Putin - whats happening.

Two wars to save Russia and the answer to so called threat of Islamic militia in Chechnya's destroyed nothing but common people. Who died in this wars - common people. They say Grozny after the two wars didn't even have a single building which was not bombed. And they talk about the bombings and not the innocent soul - both Russian soldiers and the Chechen civilians - countless people killed in the conflict.

And what stands there - a warlord-in-chief Ramzan Kadyrov who is the president now.
The only difference being that now he is standing by the side of Mr Putin.

Pity our freedom.


Long live Russia.
Long live the Presidents and Politicians.
Rest In Peace - Mr. Putin.

41 shots ..the tarnished great american dream

What to say..

Is it a gun..is it a knife
Its the blood of innocent people chasing their great American dream..who got laid in the Norris Hall. It shook the world. Its natural isn't it.

Words cannot describe how bad it is. It ain't a secret.
"People can get killed just for living in" .. as Bruce Springsteen puts it.."you American skin.

But its what you reap that you can sow and some times you reap something else also what you have been sowing for others.

The Americans are shook by the incident. The world is so sympathetic. But why doesn't a tear roll down for the people dying in Iraq. The girls being raped in Darfur. Why why doesn't any body care.

The incident so called is bad shook all of us because the media couldn't manipulate us. It was brute it was bad. We all cried because it came without the so called government filters. Otherwise it would have sounded sweet too. It was all draped in sorrow because it happened in USA and that the Americans died.

I ain't an ANTI AMERICAN. I ain't any one associated with Bin Laden's Army.
But I am just a human being who refuses the accept the atrocities by the American for money being done around the world.

Brothers everything is not business. And if u think it is. You don't always do good business. Alas the only problem is the loss is upon the common people.


Rest In Peace.
The students - you got killed just for living in.
Am sorry for you but am sorry for the politicians and the media baron's cause if there is an old saying in our part of the world

"jab boya beej babool to aam kaha se ho"


And forgive LORD, the poor kid who who lost it all...i am sorry for the trauma the families are going through...bro its not that u failed its the system that failed and poor us..we live to pity ourselves without any dignity to stand up and fight against the ones who called u names..who in the name of information and news kept accusing other TV Channels who called the stuff you sent to them disturbing and still kept showing it to all others..who say that everything sells..and sell it off all the time..
am sorry for you bro..we lost it once more..and we all lost bro and sisters

While Suzanne holds the mirror...........

"the secret which pierces with such sweetness....
the secret we cannot hide and cannot tell...
call it beauty and behave as if that had settled the matter......

The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not 'in' them, it only came 'through' them, and what came through them was longing...

For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."

C.S. Lewis wrote that and he wrote about an experience that cannot be put into any number of words and I dare to talk about the subject today. I don't fear failing miserably but the experience it self is worth talking about.

"Suzanne" is the song which is playing on the CD. Leonard Cohen is rendering the most depressing song which makes the longing come alive. No wonder as he talks about his Suzanne, every one gets touched. The inspiration for such a master piece has to be exception and the somebody of the likes of Cohen can only put into words that experience. The rest is history.
But what are these experiences and the genius who go through them to create the masterpieces. Mere mortals like me cannot even think of....

I just want to travel and I want to travel blind..


"Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river
You can hear the boats go by
You can spend the night beside her
And you know that she's half crazy
But that's why you want to be there
And she feeds you tea and oranges
That come all the way from China
And just when you mean to tell her
That you have no love to give her
Then she gets you on her wavelength
And she lets the river answer
That you've always been her lover
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that she will trust you
For you've touched her perfect body with your mind.
And Jesus was a sailor
When he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching
From his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain
Only drowning men could see him
He said "All men will be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them"
But he himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human
He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone
And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For he's touched your perfect body with his mind.
Now Suzanne takes your hand
And she leads you to the river
She is wearing rags and feathers
From Salvation Army counters
And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that you can trust her
For she's touched your perfect body with her mind."


Check out the Song..may be its a song of your soul too


Oh thought why not add this interesting link for the TRUE COHEN fans
http://leonardcohenfiles.com/mirror.html

Njoy !!

Pic Travel Blog: Reaching Langkawi

A travel without hassles is not a travel and they are better called adventure. The word for travel in hindi is "Safar" and sounds close to suffer in english.

Chinese New Year Eve: 16-Feb-2006

Scene I:
Huge traffic expected in Woodland checkpoint at Malaysia Singapore immigrations
Planned time for leaving office - 4 PM - Actual Status - Heavy showers and no taxis on the road - reach at 6 PM
Long queues at the immigrations - they dun allow photography !! otherwise its so simple to identify Singaporeans they just queue up !!
Expected Departure from Larkin by bus 9:30 PM

Scene II:
Reach Larkin at about 8:30 unlimited traffic jams in Johar.
Get down half way on the highway -- yes and walk on the expressway to the bus interchange - a sin and a criminal offense in Singapore but when everybody is going home its what it is and then its Malaysia.

Crowds at JB - Larkin Interchange crowds gathering

Poor soul on Larkin Bus Interchange


Scene III: Its almost 10 PM all buses are running late and yout JBM 9909 is nowhere to be seen and then finally it appears. Its not the VIP bus we had paid for !!
The driver understands no English or Hindi and wants us to get down.
Its all messed up.

Some interesting statements in the air:

"Muslims should be given the first seats"
"Chinese logo ke eid hai isliye its all so crowded today"
"Lets go and fight with the ticketing lady. This is the normal 40 seater not the 24 seater we had paid for"
"Bus is overbooked we cannot carry you"
"Please get down"

"We are not getting down anywhere. Am really angry now.
Bloody get me the other bus or we go on this bus"


Finally at 11:45 PM the VIP bus arrives. Its so tiring and so bloody comfortable. The chaos because the bus number was wrongly referred to and written on the tickets.


Worst Fear Realized
The bus has such comfortable seats but the AC is chilling and we have no clothes like jackets or shawls !!

I dozed off before I knew. 5 hrs before the actual journey started. Its a long way to ALOR SETAR from Johar Bahru just follow the Green Expressway on the MAP. Expected time 14 hrs :) that means 10 AM.


Image courtesy MYPLUS.COM.MY Full Detail Version Here

langkawi travel blog better late then never: prelude I

Being located in Singapore provides an opportunity to travel to Malaysia that is like traveling to Nepal from India and its financially also viable considering Ringits are values half (almost) as compared to Singapore dollars.
But for those who know what Chinese New Year means its a hard time to plan a travel to any where in the region and that too by air with a short notice of like say one month.

After all the options including air/bus were ruled out and travel plans to Langkawi almost canceled we decided to go to Johar Bahru, Malaysis just to book tickets to Alor Setar the last place where you can go buy road to reach Pulau Langkawi.

Singapore -->MRT to Kranji -->bus to Woodlands Checkpoint --> Singapore Immigration -->bus to across the causeway---> Malaysia Immigration--> Larkin Bus Interchange

The whole journey from Kranji to Larkin takes about an hour and its interesting to know that you can feel the difference between the two places:
a) Ciggi is samn cheap in Malaysia
b) Food is cheaper
c) Feels like you are free and in some different place


Some interesting facts:
a)Indians in Singapore need valid VISA to travel to Malaysia
b)Single entry and multiple entry visas charges are the same
c)You need to declare if you are carrying in an out of Malaysia more than 1000 Ringits
d) No duty free items between Malaysia and Singapore in case you are returning from Malaysia
e) Malaysia has petrol at about 2 Ringits per litre cheaper than water in Singapore.
f) Language is sometime the biggest problem when dealing with people in Larkin like places.

Happy Replublic Day

Happy 58th Republic Day !!
Fellow Indians time has come for us to spread our wings and fly..
The times are changing and now its going to be our time soon...

Wanna watch the Parade..its here.
And must also watch the address of the President.

JAI HIND

Resolutions and New Year Prayer for Us all

May all be happy;
May all be without disease;
May all have well-being;
May none have misery of any sort.

— Brihadaaranyaka Upanishad 1.4.14

And for the CHILD in us :)

Hobbes: Are you making any resolutions for the new year?
Calvin: Resolutions? ME?? Just what are you implying? That I need
to change?? Well, Buddy, as far as I'm concerned, I'm perfect the way
I am! For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else
can just get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well,
though beans! It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to
be the way I want! This is how I am - take it or leave it! By golly,
life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome
moron who's got an idea how I ought to be! I don't need advice!
Everyone can just stay out of my face!

Hats off to Bill Waterson.

and all the sins were washed away

Last week it started to rain on Saturday. It rained throughout the week unlike normal thunder storm showers in Singapore. The sky was pouring its heart out.
Alas mere mortal were not able to understand what was happening. The nature was preparing Singapore for the christmas and new year celebration.

Its not a white christmas here but still it can be a rainy one. And look how beautiful it lookes just after the rain.


The rains washed away all the sins.
And today on the christmas eve alls fresh again. As it was when the child was born.

Wishing You All Merry Christmas !!

"I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys."
~Charles Dickens

And for all dear pals and friends
"If a fat old man comes tonight and bags you in, do not get frightened, it is just that i request Santa for a friend like you"

Enjoy!!

PS: Here is the christmas gift some one sent for me.
Thanks a TON. Nothing could have beem more flattering :)

GOOGLE : Will the Power Corrupt !!!

Look where Google has reached today from collecting a Penny at a time - billions flowing in and every body in the world believes in the might of the company and now every body understands the might and muscle that google has. No doubt they have been accepted as the true competitors. No wonder yahoo profits are dented and what started as a simple search engine has proved to be the the biggest lesson for IT companies.

Simple is beautiful, elegant and powerful. It takes a herculean effort and understanding to built a simple solution. Google has done it just right.

But has there been a shift in the focus.
When we first logged on to the gmail service we were all happy customers. Who thought that 10 MB was too less unless the 1 GB thing came in and changed the world. No doubt every one else in the business was like shocked. Meanwhile Orkut had also started making waved by then. Imagine that both services had that exclusive feeling because one needed an invitation to join.
Google always knew how to convey the message. Don't just allow customers to walk in. Let them feel preveliged and they shall be too eager to walk in.

Orkut has all the data that all the big companies - marketing ones are always asking for. Exact demographics, your hobbies, what you like, even your picture - any one would like to buy.
Simple trick does the job. They know what you like what you hate and what not.
Its not a surprise that they had some advertise link inviting companies to advertise on orkut. It was expected.

The major surprise was not the purchase of Blogger the service which is providing me this opportunity to scribble these thoughts. The surprise was the slow gradual approach which conveys to users that how seamless it is to use the Blogger or Gmail or Gtalk or the Picasaweb or the excel sheet using the single password and username.

The truth is this is not wrong. But this has not reached the proportions when it can go wrong. Google now has become a web giant with absolute powers. The world today welcomes it. Why should the consumers be worried. Everything is free and better than it was yesterday. ( No ther e is no need to talk about the role the Google is playing in CHINA. Fully understood they are also like dying to tap the biggest population in China - this much accepted because they are also here to do business - why would they bother for the people whose statistics they are handing out to the authorities. Its like Yahoo does it - Cisco helps them - everybody does it. Its like have to do it otherwise the market is closed for them. This debate is more so emotional and about ethics. Shall take up this one seprately some other time)

The only problem is that some people are skeptical about even the good things.
Remember what some one said about trust. Unless you trust you cannot be betrayed or cheated. Some one also said "Power Corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

We just can pray that google ain't another M$. We can just pray.
Otherwise it would be like another story of capitalist bullshit.

Wait and watch as the drama unfolds.

Just couldn't resist

Bill Waterson portray's what I always felt was so true.
For the kid in all of us.



You are a genius BILL.

how busy is busy?

No this is not like one of those regular boring thoughts that i scribble here. What am asking you who all come here to read my blogs.

How busy are you?

Because I have found my answer.


"You are only as busy as you want to pretend or as busy as you are bad at managing your time or only as busy as you want to use as an excuse."

Why I am saying so.
When was the last time I saw the sunset or the sunrise. Its been a long long time. Last time was in thailand. But its not because I am busy. I am to goddamn lazy thats all. have been sleeping all weekends for almost a month now. Yes I have not been wprking that hard lateley. Timelines are tight but its okay kind of as there is more than sufficient breathing space.

Thats why I realise that its an excuse that comes up in our heads. Thats its too hectic of a schedule. It applies to me and if I am not mistaken then the same applies to you too.

SAD BUT TRUE.

"Eureka "..now ask me why I am so happy.
Because now when I know the problem is there and has been identified there can be some solution to this one too.

So buddies don't worry I am going to reply you all on time. Will not wait for the leisure time to write long mails to you. I am going to call you whenever the thought comes to my mind rather than waiting till the evening.

Hope this applies to you too.
My mobile is waiting and please don't keep eternally waiting like I was doing. That one min conversation is also as good and as appreciated then the wait for that long one. We don't have much to share or talk but still the enigma and warmth in the voice is something which itself means a lot to me ..and i think same holds a special meaning for you too.

BREAK FREE...

technology and internet

hey pals..yes i have been on and off..bloggin erratically ..not much to share about.
There are few new dimesions in which technology has been influencing my life.

Considering the time spent online and the time spent talking over the phone, there is hardly any time spent doing something else. Finding information or GOOGLING has become the most confusing activity. Information is CHAOS and it becomes evident almost anyday now. There is so much information. Terrabytes of data that finding it and verifying it has become almost impossible.
websites like wikipedia are there. There is information but I am never sure what I am rreading is what? Whose point of view and whats it is. But thats the way it is now. Accepted and so before going to the movie I don't read review. Takes all the fin out. 20 reviews of a movie and you cannot decide what it is. To write your own you have to go and watch the movie. Intersting isn't it.

This is one aspect of it. On the other hand are things like PANDORA [http://pandora.com] try it out. This is unlike any other radio on the internet and for those who want to experiment with music this is the thing worth trying provided bandwidth is not a conern.

Though I have been lsitening to so much music these days that I cannot make out what is what. My DVD playes acts as an amplifier for the laptop thats all the use it has now a days. I have bought cds but not even put them into my ipod. Somehow it feels that there is no choice and options in the 30 GB of music i carry on my waist.

There is so much there to see and listen to in this world. I wonder were people referring to internet when they said "so much".

When we were small kids we waited weeks for episodes to come on TV. Now you can download all of them. Watch them one after there...but is there that much of fun in it now. Yes and No.

Somehow I feel when things become too easy to get. It becomes tougher to appreciate them. This is luxary or this is pain. Is this a vicious cycle. Whatever it is. this is it :) and its engulfing the whole of the existece.

Watch out..when is your turn ?

sea of change and breeze of fresh air

"Change should be incremental" my boss keeps saying all the time otherwise the resistance is higher. I tend to agree and dis agree both. But thats obvious isn't it because every body has his own fighting syle and mine is to strike with full force and take the enemy down. Anything less and its not a 100% effort.
Plan it meticulously, wait for the moment and then slither the problem or the enemy. Crude voilent but if plannes well one attack does the job. Misson Accompalished.

Naive isn't it. Yep I do agree.
So I do borrow his style some times.

I am working on so many thigns now a days that I am not even sure at times where to focus. Life is throwing up challenges and life style challenges are like HOLLOWS( BTW have u watched Bleach..am hooked to animation..google..an its bloody addictive) and am charging with my zamphaktu(soul slayer). They bog me down. Terrible mood swings and negative vibes are working on me but I am working...working out on these things.

Some things have been happening every week.
Professionaly am writing documents for a new system to be developed. Meetings have come down a bit. Chatting has gone up during the weekends.
As a surprise smoking has gone down and am swimming some times.

Lets see how far these things go..but am standing with my feet firm and slayer charged.


Just a quick update
Check out snaps on the photoblog. There has been some activity there :) and do leave some comments.

whats a blog for?

what is a blog for?
Its not a diary its not a medium its something which comes back to you.
So whats it if its not what it has been...
This is what I will try to figure out before I blog next time because there are so many strings attached to blogging...

Insatiable desire..pack bags leave and shoot

I am growing more and more insatiable. The travel bug has bitten me and I am finding it more than tempting. I just want to surrender to this feeling. I was just wondering how many good travels happened since july 2004 despite mine being so busy (coz am working full time)

After passing out from IITK I came to bangalore. That was the last long train journey through bhopal across India. I didn't carry a camera then but so many good things happened on that trip.
From bangalore started the rush to travel.

a) Bangalore - Mysore - Bangalore
Next came up this trip to Mysore. First trip on Karnataka roads. The TIPU palance and all was really interesting trip.

b) Bangalore - Mangalore-Sooratkal-Murudeshwar - Bangalore
Packed bags with friends to Mangalore and that was the first trip to coastal karnataka. The beaches of suratkal, just imagine only 4-5 frns on a beach felt like a private beach. Then travelled on a local bus to join my sister and jiju who also drove from bangalore. Then travelled all the way to Murudeshwar with them. Believe me Western Ghats are beautiful. That reminds me that I should capture all those video footage and snaps.

c) Bangalore-Singapore
Travelled to Singapore and later it became evident that I was here to stay.

e)Singapore- Johar - Kuala Lumpur-Genting-Mallaca - Singapore
One helluva vacation of theme parks and water parks. Drove with colleagues together to Malaysia. Lots of pictures and lots of memories.
The most captured trips on photographs

d) Singapore-Dehradun-Rishikesh-Tehri Gharwal-Singapore
A normal trip to dehradun became a long exciting one because bro was also there and we teamed up together to drive to a remote village in tehri garhwal. The roads were being blasted and we were driving up. Finally had to give it up because the terrain was too harsh and walked afterwards.
Sad but no pics of that triumph. Maruti would had definetely awarded us for this one.

This trip also included the first ever flight from delhi to dehradun. First chance to see dehradun from the top.

e) Bangalore - Mysore - Ooty - Bangalore
Went out to tamilnadu hill station and rented a car from bangalore to Ooty with avinash and his bro mickey. Fantastic place to go and njoy the chill even in off-season. Liked the place
Another trip which is well documented

f)Bangalore - ChillChilla Falls-Shivasamudram - Bangalore
Outings with family and all like one day trips from Bangalore. Interesting and memorable in each sense. Lots of photographs.

g)Bangalore - Mysore - Coorg - Bangalore
The whole family including my parents drove to Coorg. The Kavri Udgam and all the intersting places around this hill station in Karnataka famous for coffee and pepper. Warm people and beautiful as well. First outing with parents after I started working
Got a chance to check out the bird sanctuary in Mysore and those crocs they look great basking in the SUN

h)Singapore-Dehradun-Meerut - Singapore
Got a taste of local travel in buses and all and then chance to board local buses. Was actually surprised to see a POS being used on a CITI bus. And the highways have become very cool in uttaranchal

i)Singapore-Hyderabad - Singapore
Truly hang out vacation. Urban days lazing around and shopping. Hyderabad is a kewl laid out place especially nice since we have a gals college jus next to our place in hyderabad.

j)Sinapore-Phuket(Thailand)- Singapore
One helluva trip.
Beautiful picturesque - one of the best shots places i have ever visited.
Well captured and a truly realaxing one

Still to go places
a) Uttaranchal - Badrinath - Kedar Nath - with parents
b) Penang - Malaysia
c) Krabi/Bangkok/Pattaya - Thailand
d) Bali - Indonesia


Wish there were no VISAs and Passports required for us to travel and travel was as easy as 123...may be someday it will be

F***ing don't want a Tuk Tuk or a Suit or a Massage..... Tom Yum...Oh YES!!!

Phuket is more famous in asia then any other beach and you have to be an English to appreciate it the most (SUN TAN SEX AND BEERS). Why because being an asian like me its not so easy to appreciate the TAN because of the SUN (thank god pigments prevent those frickels on our skin) and secondly because we don't have that economcial advantage to spend on those thai escorts(read hookers).

But still despite of my Indian upbringing phuket is a place which is a must visit. The Thai Bhat is almost valued the same as the India currency (so almost the same spending power for frns who want an economic comparison) though we don't have the advantage that EURO or other currencies njoy

The VISA On arrival is a big plus for people like us who don't know where they are heading for and when. Sometimes I really wonder why do we need VISA and passport to move around. But "FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBOURS" so there are too many people buying the idea and this has shaped the world where we live today.

So whats the must do in Thailand?
Get a MASSAGE - foot massage and full body thai massage are both recommended. The massage is a must have for any one but some how thai massages have become so much associated with the follow up sex ritual that there is a weak link between the to. But luckily for me it was a good masseur who knew the difference between the two.

Another see is the place where Vegas got its idea of a babe making love to a POLE. The place is called a GO GO bar but its too difficult for me to appreciate. But must see becuase unless you taste the wine its too bookish or isn't it?

TUK TUK is another word which anyone cannot stop hearing. Literally it means TAXI and there are more TUK TUK's on road sometimes you think then the poeple in off season.

What's must do if you just want to have a good time in Phuket?
a) Book into a good hotel with breakfast room service
b) Prefer a room which has a sea facing balcony so that u can catch the most part of the sunset on the beach and the follow up from ur balcony sipping ur fav drink ( Awesome display of color unfolds into the andaman sea every day and the sunset will make any one's heart skip a beat)
c) Pamper your self with massages
d) Hang out in any of the numerous pubs..see how the world changes by the night
e) Stay away from all the good looking gals who are blowing kisses or holding ur hand..coz most of them are MEN or thats what earns then easy money
f) Eat ur heart out---TOM YUM soup/ Anything served with Thai Sauce /Chicken Satay and in case you like seafood..thailand is heaven
g) Go for any of those boat rides..which are like full or half day into the sea and watch the beauty of those limestone rocks and mountains in the emerald sea. Unless someone goes out no pictures can capture the feeling
h)Ride a rented bike in the town...@200 bhats per day a must do

And don't forget to return people the NAMASTE. Thai people are so warm that you will always want to visit them again. Thats for sure.

PS: Check out the photoblog for snaps from the trip

the epitome of nothingness

Nothingness fills the air as I sit in the office on this saturday afternoon.
Am not doing anything but I am sitting here because I wanted to spend some time alone. Though I agree that a time out with friends on a beach or just sitting in the gandhi lawns or a long walk in the inner circle with friends from college (alas gone are the days and the fact that office mates can never be friends) would had been just perfect and a beer or some whisky would had definetely elevated the mood but here its all so different(even i can't believe that the alcohol today tastes bad to me).

Wanted to go and sit somewhere and be idle so I walked to the office thinking that some work will help me calm down. But after so many years (26 + years) of living with myself I still don't know what makes me click and what makes me go numb.

Am frustrated with my self. Just another thought how can one be frustrated with some one else and even if I am then what can be done..nohting..that would be even more frustrating. Am bored to death. This work keeps on expanding the more I try to keep it under control the more of it falls on my hands. It's always the part I do trying to sqeeze my personal space so that work gets done but it doesn't pay of. Rework more rework and more rework thats the full story.

But its strange or isn't it. Some one who is giving u company in office is playing games all the time and you are just slogging. Here the work never ends the deadlines are never met. There is always something pressing so hard that it eventually pressurises an takes away more of that personal space (as if there is something personal here).

Take last release for UAT,the estimate was right cannot be done in the sipulated time. Yet it was like should go ahead and we did it. Result slogging in the office till 2 AM in the morning and next day was so bloody packed with meetings. This is more than that can be handled sometimes I think. But this is it n whom should I go and tell this to?
My boss who himself is trying to make it through putting in all he has. Whom should i go and tell this to? This is my choice - working in a start up.
The problem is there is no end to it. Yesterday night again the release on production was like that. Reached home at 2 AM. Thank god this is saturday but what shall I do if its a saturday and what difference does a saturday make. All bloody seven days are SUNDAYS.

Don't even wanaa go and hang out with friends from office. Even dont want to talk to them. There is nothing but office all around.

But who has built this web.

We humans are sometimes so stupid that its beyond our own comprehension. We strive for things. We pray for them to happen and when they happen we desperately try to find a way to get out of them. Piece by piece I was involved in this setup. It was me who decided to build this thing my way and now sometimes i feel like trapped in this.

Self motivating oneself is not so easy as it seems. Its not at all easy when you don't see things moving. Though its just a very relative term. "To see things moving" had to important references worth noticing. The "thing" and "movement".
Every body has his own definitions for "thing" and "movement" and it also depends upon the priorities and degree of responsibility you take.

I don't want to discuss this coz it makes me think at time that the more i think about it more i feel about where i stand today.

Feel like running away and hiding somewhere but the problem is you cannot hide away from yourself and there is no running away. Its you who is the victim and you who is the tormentor.

Still at the end of it without doing anything I hope that things will improve.
I am OKAY. It's OKAY.
and if it's too good or too bad "THIS TOO SHALL PASS".

thoughts for food or food for thought

Happened to me while talking to team mates in office.

Miracles do happen.
Some people call them bugs other call them features


And the following one is an old time favourite

No no we don't charge you for bugs.
They come for free

think about it until i keep myself busy with things which keep me busy :P

end of an era..Syd is gone -- PONY is chopped

the July was a month in its own.
Not so importat coz ir marked as the month i finally chopped my pony tail ;)..was too bored and believe me its too much of a pain to manage it..especially when some one as frequent headaches and singapore hot and humid climate to njoy throught the year. But the month was cruel but it marked the end of an era. Syd Barett shot into fame for the last time...last time the REAL FLOYD was in news into media but alas the news was bad news :(

Syd barett shot into fame once again and this time no it was not a stunt by David Gilmour and the New Floyd association but it was his tragic demise and the news that he as finally succumbed to the pressure of life..in the form of diabetes.

BTW before I forget there was this footage somebody uploaded on the you tube . You can see the talented Syd in the early days of the Pink Floyd. Here is a quick link.
(Don't forget to notice him playing guitar with his lighter).

But SYD we still believe it was and it will always be your BAND. Whatever happened happens and shit happens sometimes. But man you rocked the world, you are still rocking it and as long as people will love Pink Floyd even if they love Gilmour some day they will love you coz all roads through Floyd lead to your tomb and shall always end there only.

Long Live the PINK FLOYD's SYD ....RIP SYD.

holics for work

Last to last week's open window made me think about what's going on in my life. Not that the exercise made me change my ways, or stimulated me to think about the problem. Rather I will say that all it conveyed and that too in a very subtle manner that I have very few friends I was frequently talking to, made me ponder that after work hours haunt me because I don't know what to do. It conveyed that there was something different in life here in Singapore. And so I thought why not spend some time away from the routine and why not question what seems so right and obvious.
Because if there is a problem then it needs to be rectified and the commitment should be the same as that for work.

"IT people do everything online". Yes I mean it. It's not surprising to find an IT person surfing web looking for swimming instruction (I have seen a frn do that) or learning online how to play a guitar (hats off to my boss). Doing a google comes up so naturally now that I can't imagine any other source of information other than internet. This however reminds me that how painful it has become now a days to surf web. Its not far off that people would be paid for searching information on internet as using google is becoming more and more difficult. But this we can discuss sometimes later also.

I tend to drift a lot and that's what happens when you are searching for something online. Oops i wanted to search about WORKAHOLISM and look what google brings...

Here are some warning signs of workaholism:
a)Your home is just another office.
b)You are hard-driving, competitive, and overly committed to your work.
c)You take office equipment with you wherever you go, even on vacations.
d)Work makes you happier than anything else in your life.
e)Sleep and playtime seem like a waste.
f)You believe that if you get the chance to do it again, you'll do it right.
g)You get restless on vacation (if you even take them) and sometimes cut them short.
h)You frequently are "problem solving" work situations in your mind, even during your "time off."
i)Friends either don't call anymore, or you can't wait to get off the phone when they do call.
i)People who love you tell you that "you have a lot of energy," are "manic," or are a "workhorse."
j)You are tired, irritable, socially isolated, and might even have physical stress symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, shortness of breath, racing heart, muscle tension, or ulcers.

If you can see yourself in most of these characteristics, you probably are a workaholic.
"

Am speechless...each one of these is yes in a way>.laptop goes every where with me..office is home and home is office ..what not headaches and innsomnia keeps visintg as if was sharing my bed...but is it a mere coincidence...People what about you. Dear Mr. Anonymous people say its a problem. Bosses promote this, world encourages this and then one day they say its a problem.

On the second thoughts I think people just hate whatever I start falling in love with. Thats about me how about you.....

excerpts from junkie's diary...

The summer sun as westerners call it appears every day in Singapore. Its hot and humid throughout the year and that's why Malaysia and Singapore are so popular destinations for Europeans and Americans. Add to that the fact the conversion rate also makes it easy for them to afford most things in Singapore. Luxury ain't that expensive here when you are earning in Euros or Pounds or USD.
But I didn't open up this post to talk about the economic feasibility of a holiday out here for them nor I wanted to discuss the weather of Singapore. What I wanted to discuss instead is that today am sitting in front of my open window at home. Before of I go on and talk about the open window, there is something more important than this open window. This ain't something which happens everyday. This is an event which I cannot seem to remember in near past or foresee in near future.
Its a sunday afternoon am at home unlike most other sundays. I am not working today, despite of the fact that there are so many deadlines to chase and am just sitting here with air-conditioner switched off. Yes, that's precisely why the window is closed mostly. The hot sun and humidity are best fight when you are armed with aircons.

Outside my window is another world. It sometimes feel I am looking at something I don't know. These are apartments which any one from Indian subcontinent won't bother not to call High Rise, there are people living in them though I assume it or one can say conclude it because the curtains I can see in houses are moving sometimes. There is a beautiful garden (what am I comparing it to..now I wonder this is a lame comparison apples to oranges no better would be oranges to potatoes whatever) and a soft window is blowing.

But I ain't feeling anything good or bad about it. It just doesn't feel like anything. I am listening to the music my iPOD is churning and is playing on the music system. But I can't feel anything. All the thoughts that come to me just pass me by like the wind that is causing the leaves to shuffle. Sometimes the wind is too strong and the leaves jostle but mostly the wind just flows by. That's the kind of thought pattern I have been having.

Give me 10 mins to sit idle I remember my laptop or iPOD. Restrict me from thinking about work and I don't have anything worthwhile to think about. In the pursuit of being busy this work has become something which booze or dope could not become. An addiction which lets me escape, transcend into someone else, a fictitious hero who is fighting the odds, challenging life and work and people to come and fight.

Am living in my own world, hallucinating not like a junkie high on drug but this is another LSD called work. This one is socially acceptable makes you go numb, easily available rather in abundance and people like you to have as much as u can.

What wrong are those junkies doing? Killing themselves too early harming society and what not. What are we doing?

that's why I don't open the windows. Better keep them closed. Its too hard to confront yourself. Its too hard to lie.

Food for thought: "alcoholics" & "workoholics", why do they sound like each other and rhyme. Ever wondered why?

"Close that window...pull the curtains..there is too much light outsight it blinds me and the fresh air is suffocating..."

Just to quote for the scraps..some one talked about searching for something...PINK FLOYD..says it all...

"Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
go down this road we've been so many times"

ratti mein jalawa diwa

"sanu ek pal chain naa aawae..."

feels like some one is singing in the train while u are travelling in the summers through the beautiful landscapes of the chambal..beween jhasi and gwalior.....some one singing and begging...remember that huskiness in the voice..the pain and the emotion...well there is somethign close to it..which just makes you go round and round..absorbs youa nd leaves one mesemerized. The guys who has that effect in his voice is called Kailash Kher and the song am talking big about is called "Sanu ek pal" (Though I am not sure its the song which is the catalyst or its my soul which has a very low flash point..but whatver it is..am on fire)

Kailash Kher shot into fame with the "Allah Ke Bande". There is how ever much more than that the guy has.The pious voice is worth of much more. Just got a chance to lay hands on one of his album called "awargi" (courtset pauyaar.com) and the believe me if some one likes the rustic huskiness in the voice of abida parveen or the voice of Nusrat saheb in his last days, this guy has a lot of potential then this voice is a real contender in the league if and thats big if..the guys becomes more consistent.

The song "sanu ek pal" is rendered in the folk sufi style. The guy hails from the lucknow but the voice has that rural touch some one who has lived its life in may be haryana rajasthan or perhaps sindh. Enchanting experience thats what would I say.

But every rose has its thorn. The guy is pretty inconsistent in the album. Sometimes the songs are too dry and you kinda feel the lack of emotions. But neverthless this guy will be someone to watch in near future.

Keep singing dude..we are listening....and for those who prefer to try here is the link

"rati mein jalawa diwa..hanjawa de terada..
hayo rabba sajana nu cheeti kyon nahi bhejda"

Just a quick update there is one more classic from the guy

A new track called Naiharwa in the album Kailasa.

.one more excellent composition,,this one has some eastern UP touch...naiharwa....
Must hear for the lovers of sufi and abida's fan..and believe me it won't dissapoint you.

the guilt of doing business

Yes even I don't know how to put it this way.

The way people behave when something is seems to be going wrong in business. People are looking for emails, other proofs to be produced as an evidence when they anticipate something may wrong.

And how unreasonable this activity is I cannot really comment on it. Yes logically speaking no one would like to be blamed for someone else's fault, but does pin pointing a finger really helps. When people are pursuing something together as a team, the aim is to speak "MISSION ACCOMALISHED" together. But how corporate buck passing works it makes me ponder is it really so or it is what just shows and is portrayed.

No I am not at the recieving end of this. But I know that if every one does his or her job there would be no need for the search of a scape goat. These small things can be tackled far easily by human minds working together. But instead of working out together we are trying to work out against each other. There is more contingency planning going around than the effort to make it out sometimes. How to justify this I don't know. May be am too young, I don't undertand the basic business rules or playing safe strategies ..but still I cannot digest this logic.

There is life beyond success and failure. There is more to life than just pursuing a goal. Wouldn't it be fun if the journey was as pleasurable as the destination?

Destination is not some place where we will reach at the end of the jounrney. We are not supposed to celebrate when we reach at the end. The real fun lies in making the journey "the destination" and celebrating each moment. These success and failures are just pit stops ...keep throttling..

Keep walking ...thats what it means isn't it?


PS: For the anonymous person searching for me...yes this the person you are looking for....am the same guy who was at kvfri ddun n passsed out in 97.

the concept of critical path

Project management is one activity every aspiring developer wants to take on as eary as possible. When you look at the PM aka Project Manager you tend to like his job so much. This guy never needs to actually poke his head through the messy lines of code, never needs to debug, is only asking people about deadlines "WHY" and "WHEN", all the thinking he needs to do is about the documentation in either MS Word or MS Excel or max MS PowerPoint. Not only is the work looks so easy to do and what a handsome salary he is paid for all this easy task.
This is so natural to happen."GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER" on the other side and this ain't any exception.

How cna i say so coz I was in the developer team in fact even now I am but the only difference is that I am also looking at some things yes I will say some thigns because its such a big thing to handle and I am such a small fly I cannot say I am doing REAL PROJECT MANAGEMENT. I am not even ready for taking up that activity. Why because there are certain aspects to it I only realized when i stepped into the shoes.Primarily because

a) Users and Bosses in general are pretty unreasonable people
b) Users and bosses are human beings and have seasoned with experience
c) Deadlines are real
d) Resources - money (read resources) and time are limited

Amidst these pressures there is this guy struggling to keep a balance into what the clients demand...what they want as he needs to get the job done from his team. He needs to make sure that he envisages all activities which may or may not happen.He needs to plan and not only plan he needs to execute those plans. He needs to protect his team from the outside world and make life easier for them otherwise thr productivity and efficiency is at stake.

What I will say he does a heculean job. That is one reason that we apreciate only few of the managers and call a lot of them "Excel PM". Nothing wrong to it but mananging activities so that overall duration of the project is not exceeded requires much more than a human being has to offer. Thats what makes a successful PM different from all others. The real hero !!!

Sometimes this even means for him to lay himself down on the critical path to bridge the gaps.

So for today I wish someday I will become one "PM".

sweet thoughts of some one

In June 2005, I talked to some one for the last time.
Yes last time and I dun know where the person is. I cannot contact him..its so weird yet I keep thinking..how life is at the other end...

If some one knows whom I am talking about or if some one is in touch.
Please update me whats up at the other end...there are some string which life pulls every now and them.

I some times still think...its just human i guess to live on...

pink floyd rocks...
high hopes...playing on and on its been an hour...
and I am thinking am lost....
check out the video on you tube or google if u are missing this bit...
I cannot agree any more...even after years it still so fresh

--------------------------------------------------------------
Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun
Along the long road and on down the causeway
Do they still meet there by the cut
There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world

****

Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
go down this road we've been so many times

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river

Forever and ever
"Hey, is that Charlie? yes... Hello Charlie... great"

guns and roses reloaded

GnR as they are popularly called is one of my all time fav bands and its reloaded big time on my music scene. They are masters of the Rock and there was more than enough packed into the band members talents..AXL ROSE the perfect vocals and SLASH solos.Steven Adler on drums, Izzy Stradlin and Duff McKagan. Master musicians who shot to fame and were on top of the fame around 1990.But as it happens for most on the top. The band just disintegrated and Slash - Adler both are now with Velvet Revolver. As far as I know Axl Rose is the only member from the glorious past who is with Guns and Roses.But I think spilt was the last nail in the coffin coz unless all the ingredients are put in in correct propotions the meal cannot be perfect.

But that the shitty thisg is GnR couldn't handle making it big and shot to fame for bloody all the reasons other than music after they hit the top. So the ned was near. Axl went to drug rehab..he had his own set of problems..and eery body else walked off. Nevertheless some great songs were churned by the band. The powerfuil lyrics really make a point.

You name it and they have songs november rain, estranged, sweet child 'o mine, my michele, yesterday, paradise city,welcome to the jungle and lot more.

I think they are the only competing band with metallica on my hard rocking list who make full time comebacks.


\m/ keep rocking...

"I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I had to put her
Six feet under
And I can still hear her complain "
-- Used To Love Her (Lies)

Read more about them here on Wiki Pedia

all fucked up now...

kill me coz if u dun dear friend some one will...
hate me my frinend coz if u dun I will do it...

am sitting u..working on docs..presentations which don't seem to come to end..am churning shit each day..day after day..am tired..please dun bother to ask me how am I...I will say Great..am fine...no other words to say..

3 months now..for 3 months all these docs and emails and presentations...and pdf's no real work..no hands down technical stuff...this is whats happening here..any more updates wanted!!!...better dun ask

dun ask me anything coz I will lie..am frustrated am tired..thats the story as of now

huhh...

cooking what a fine thing to do

Well people who know me might be surprised when i reveal this new development. Remember someone long ago said "Need is the mother of invention". No no I have not invented somehting but what has happened latelt ever since i came back to Singapore this feb has changed my culinary habbits and to my wonder I have discovered that I do have an above average natural falir for cooking.
Never tried it before nor wanted to do. In singapore there were little options left after eating out for almost an year. Its so obvious that so many indians living abroad start cookig themselves. We are lazy people (no offences meant for those who are not but I am talking about the gang that I have and people I know) and for me eatihg out those fries and fried chicken and burgers call it McDonalds or KFC or Burger King or Moss Burger or Pizza at Pizza Hut ( I hate those Pizzas) leads to a mental agony. a guilt that you don't exercise and don't even eat healthy food. So I opted for cooking myself and it has turned out to be such good of an experience that I don't even like to ear at those fine diing resturants.

Can you believe I did daal makhani yesterday night. It was so fucking good that I have to confess even I hadn't thought it to be so. I didn't have any idea how to do so many vegetables or pulses but I tend to have a natural talent to do it better than I would put even many chefs who cook Indian food do.

I am so happy eating stuff that I like. I am not excellent at putting how much salt and 5-105 times it goes on the wrong side, but I hardly spend less than 40 mins including the time to eat on cooking. Now the next thing i can think of is learning how to make indian cread or roti as we all call it. Eating rice doesn't come so naturally to me.

Folks come over here...may be I will cook something for us to eat. This is what may be you never expected out of me..nevermind even I didn't!!

bk from hols..rush to toilet...ahaaaaaaaaaa

Went for a holiday to doon and came back to Singapore.
The holiday was so short that I cannot even say that it was one week i spent in India. It does not even feel like that. I started on 14th morning from here and came back on 23rd Morning. Still it feels like i hardly spent anytime at home but i think thatsw normal to think about holidays and what one feels afterwards.

But the baggage I came back with included something which has forced me to sleepless nights and days of uncomfort. Being so fond of Indian food, I tries eating at so many places including the famous Haldiram's at delhi, KC Soup Bar at dehradun and not to forget all the paani poories/chaat/tikki/ras malai at UP ke wedding. I think it would be unfair if I don't talk about unlimites stuffed parathas at home. So you can very well imagine what would had happened. Looks like of all the nuerous water bottles that I had gulped down..some one had some Enamoeba Histolitica waiting for me..and now all i have are trips are toilet..watery stools and mucous from intestine being flushed.

So folks I will say that one must plan everything especially this thing when you are returnig from India. Don't forget to pack in Ciprolet A to ease your tummy because you will inevitably be forced by something u ate/drank to rush to toilets infinite times. So please pack these tablets with you when you are returning from India and if you have a spare tablets..please pass on to me..........

BTW had the pleasure to attend UP's marriage in Meerut. Here are few pics...


------Preparing for the Day--Sis Doing Hinna on His Hands-----------


---------------Riding to get his soulmate-------------------------


----------------------------the bride n the groom----------------------------

and it unfolds

It unfolds slowly, so slow that no one notices. So slow that no ones knows. Before any one understands whats happening it unfolds so much that its only thought to be changing in leaps and bounds. But the question is what is it or what it is? This is something we all know so very well that we don't even know. Judging oursleves, judging others, working our day doing chores we are so busy that we even fail to realise that this something is nothing else but the LIFE which is what we are living every day.

One fine day we realise that life has happened to us. Life has changed and then we are struggling to find it its good or bad. How good and how bad? We forget to notice that the life has changed. One of such thing happens every now and then. It happens to me and it happens ro you.

Today was the first BIG meeting I attended. All the people sitting there were bigger than me and I was the youngest. I am sure none of them know me, but i knew them all. The room they called the board room. The CEO, the VP's all the big shots and there in the corner was me. The very me. I didn't speak anything. What would a small guy like me talk there in front of those people who talk about millions and shoulder the responsibility to do things which impact millions of dollars but we are all human isn't it.

These meetings happen all the time. And I sit there as a silent spectator. I am a spectator knowing so little that I am never comfortable to speak up there. Back in my office also when they talk technical stuff I am lost...

LOST I am because I don't know or because its so..it is as it is. There is something I am fighting for working charged up every night day after day but I really don't know what it is that keeps fuelling me everyday. A desire a fire an eternal flame to burn out rather than fade away..looks like an old story in the old package..Kurt Cobain said so as well right but he killed himself.

But I have a plan for my self. Work so hard, strive so hard that it kills you. Beats the shit out of you. That will finish me off. I am not sure about you.

"Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can’t be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he’s gone"