Dad's responses to Calvin were one of the funniest continuing themes in
Calvin and Hobbes. Amazingly, some readers complained to Watterson, saying
that Calvin's Dad was "Too sarcastic"! I think we're all glad
Watterson
didn't listen to them.
------------------------------
C: Why does ice float?
D: Because it's cold. Ice wants to get warm, so it goes to the top of
liquids to be nearer to the sun.
C: Is that true?
D: Look it up and find out.
C: I should just look up stuff in the first place.
------------------------------
C: Why do my eyes shut when I sneeze?
D: If your lids weren't closed, the force of the explosion would blow your
eyeballs out and stretch the optic nerve, so your eyes would flop around and
you'd have to point them with your hands to see anything.
------------------------------
C: Dad, will you explain the theory of relativity to me? I don't understand
why time goes slower at great speed.
D: It's because you keep changing time zones. See, if you fly to California,
you gain three hours on a five-hour flight, right? So if you go at the speed
of light, you gain *more* time, because it doesn't take as long to get
there. Of course, the theory of relativity only works if you're going west.
------------------------------
C: How come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they have
color film back then?
D: Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs *are* in color. It's just
that the*world* was black and white then. The world didn't turn color until
sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.
C: But then why are old *paintings* in color?! If the world was black and
white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way?
D: Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.
C: But... But how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn't their
paints have been shades of gray back then?
D: Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the '30s.
C: So why didn't old black and white photos turn color too?
D: Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?
------------------------------
C: Why does the sun set?
D: It's because hot air rises. The sun's hot in the middle of the day, so it
rises high in the sky. In the evening then, it cools down and sets.
C: Why does it go from east to west?
D: Solar wind.
------------------------------
C: Why does the sky turn red as the sun sets?
D: That's all the oxygen in the atmosphere catching fire.
C: Where does the sun go when it sets?
D:The sun sets in the west. In Arizona actually, near Flagstaff. That's why
the rocks there are so red.
C: Don't the people get burned up?
D: No, the sun goes out as it sets. That's why it's dark at night.
C: Doesn't the sun crush the whole state as it lands?
D: Ha ha, of course not. Hold a quarter up. See, the sun's just about the
same size.
C: I thought I read that the sun was really big.
D: You can't believe everything you read, I'm afraid.
C: So how does the sun rise in the East if it lands in Arizona every night?
D:Well, time for bed.
------------------------------
C: What causes the wind?
D: Trees sneezing.
------------------------------
C: How do bank machines work?
D: Well, let's say you want 25 dollars. You punch in the amount and behind
the machine there's a guy with a printing press who makes the money and
sticks it out this slot.
C: Sort of like the guy who lives up in our garage and opens the door?
D: Exactly.
------------------------------
C: Were there dinosaurs when you were a kid dad?
D: Oh sure, your grandfather and I used to put on leopard skins and hunt
brontosaurus for *all* the rituals.
Mom (to Dad): Listen buster, I think Calvin's grades are bad enough all
ready, don't you?
------------------------------
C: How come you know so much?
D: It's all in the book you get when you become a father
----------------------------------
.speaks up when I ain't got anyone one or anything to speak up. A pseudo blog just a medium, a pseudocover,a misnomer,cryptic,a diary even I can't decipher, diary of a vagabond , a wanderer with strange fits of disillusion and realizations about deterministic yet chaotic life
Apr 29, 2005
Apr 18, 2005
stares ..am i GAY
ho man!! this place like all others is great
i had a session of glares and stares in singapore just beacuse I was wearing a kurta..and i f u don't know what that means..its a long dress just like malay women wear here..so looking at me I am really sure people were wondering who am I.
Glances ,stares..all and a lot of them as I was moving around the city on the MRT...the public transport. ..right from kids to old ladies..they looked at me and when I stared back they had small glances...:-)
I njoyed it..they looked at my kurta then at my jeans..my fav LEE blue ones..then my sandals, my hairs which was all over the place not combed as usual...
So the question I could think off running in their minds...
I really wish next time I wear a kurta out I have a small message on my back..saying am I Gay. But its fun...to see those questions on people's mind. Its fun and really an enjoyment to see a lot of eyes exploring you, people kind of disapproving what you wear.
Believe me if u have a kurta in Singapore wear it, move around you will enjoy it..or if u don't have one ..i will lend you one..[:D]
i had a session of glares and stares in singapore just beacuse I was wearing a kurta..and i f u don't know what that means..its a long dress just like malay women wear here..so looking at me I am really sure people were wondering who am I.
Glances ,stares..all and a lot of them as I was moving around the city on the MRT...the public transport. ..right from kids to old ladies..they looked at me and when I stared back they had small glances...:-)
I njoyed it..they looked at my kurta then at my jeans..my fav LEE blue ones..then my sandals, my hairs which was all over the place not combed as usual...
So the question I could think off running in their minds...
- Why is this guy wearing a gals dress
- Is he straight?
- Is he gay?
I really wish next time I wear a kurta out I have a small message on my back..saying am I Gay. But its fun...to see those questions on people's mind. Its fun and really an enjoyment to see a lot of eyes exploring you, people kind of disapproving what you wear.
Believe me if u have a kurta in Singapore wear it, move around you will enjoy it..or if u don't have one ..i will lend you one..[:D]
Apr 4, 2005
Shop till u drop
They say Singapore is a shopping paradise.
But u need money to shop and there is only when time in a salried bachelor's life when he has money. I won't give any one full marks if you already know that am talking about the month end when your salary gets credited to the little bank account and after the wait of one full month we all have a reason to celebrate for few days.
Went on a shaopping spree on saturday night. In fact it was not intended to be one. I had gone for some window shopping to MUSTAFA to enquire about the rates before my friend who has come here for some time could go and buy the same from SIMLING. For those who know me, if I have money in my pocket and you let me free in a 24 hour store like mustafa which is actually not big but really BIG...an sure to go nuts and indulge in emotional buying..and thats exactly what happened.
We walked out of the house after it was dark around 8 pm and had indian gala dinner (definetely not at those sucking indian diners they irritate me. They are bad. Try some food courts you are more likely to find genuine north indian food there. Otherwise if u can manage with those curry leaves in your egg curry may be u won't or you need not know or understand what ethnic NORTH INDIAN FOOD IS. It was around 11 pm when we entered MUSTAFA.
And then began the most extravagant shopping experience. Accidently I stepped into the jewellery section. It was a twist of fate that ee took a wrong elevator . And there with in five minutes I had bought a gold chain. And after buying I realised that gold is expensive in Singapore than in India; as if I really cared. The best part what was the motivation behing buying it. My mother back in India told me " Monty, it is very unlikely that you are going to save any money during your visit to Singapore. So please atleaast invest something in gold. Buy some electronics stuff and last but not the least don't blow it off"
And how could an obedient son like me piss her off.
I followed her commands.
After that started the search for clothes in the mens garments section.
Could lay my hands on some good T-SHIRTS and shorts as well.
Whatever with in some 4 hours into the store ; it would be derogatory to call it a store it very big in fact very very big to call it a store.
Eventually after paying something around 1200 dollars I walked out contended.
You know what there is a strange pleasure I derive in spending money. It gives me immense satisfaction to spend money. To shop and to know that there are so many things in this world that money can buy.
Items lined up for next month:
a) SLR (no no not a digital one. I want to know how it feels to be behind a camera and as per my photography mentor who happens to be my flatmate as well, a NIKON F6 is just perfect for me.
Avilable for around SGD 500)
b) MOTOROLA's RAZOR (It is a phone. Really a beautiful one.
Calling it my own would mean SGD $700-800)
c) A good SAMSONITE or AMERICAN TOURISTER travel bag. (SGD 100-200)
Obvioulsy all these will take a back seat if my plan to visit India in May is approved. Then in that case i think I will need some 1200-1300 SGD for the visit and air tickets and all the other plans would be on hold.
But u need money to shop and there is only when time in a salried bachelor's life when he has money. I won't give any one full marks if you already know that am talking about the month end when your salary gets credited to the little bank account and after the wait of one full month we all have a reason to celebrate for few days.
Went on a shaopping spree on saturday night. In fact it was not intended to be one. I had gone for some window shopping to MUSTAFA to enquire about the rates before my friend who has come here for some time could go and buy the same from SIMLING. For those who know me, if I have money in my pocket and you let me free in a 24 hour store like mustafa which is actually not big but really BIG...an sure to go nuts and indulge in emotional buying..and thats exactly what happened.
We walked out of the house after it was dark around 8 pm and had indian gala dinner (definetely not at those sucking indian diners they irritate me. They are bad. Try some food courts you are more likely to find genuine north indian food there. Otherwise if u can manage with those curry leaves in your egg curry may be u won't or you need not know or understand what ethnic NORTH INDIAN FOOD IS. It was around 11 pm when we entered MUSTAFA.
And then began the most extravagant shopping experience. Accidently I stepped into the jewellery section. It was a twist of fate that ee took a wrong elevator . And there with in five minutes I had bought a gold chain. And after buying I realised that gold is expensive in Singapore than in India; as if I really cared. The best part what was the motivation behing buying it. My mother back in India told me " Monty, it is very unlikely that you are going to save any money during your visit to Singapore. So please atleaast invest something in gold. Buy some electronics stuff and last but not the least don't blow it off"
And how could an obedient son like me piss her off.
I followed her commands.
After that started the search for clothes in the mens garments section.
Could lay my hands on some good T-SHIRTS and shorts as well.
Whatever with in some 4 hours into the store ; it would be derogatory to call it a store it very big in fact very very big to call it a store.
Eventually after paying something around 1200 dollars I walked out contended.
You know what there is a strange pleasure I derive in spending money. It gives me immense satisfaction to spend money. To shop and to know that there are so many things in this world that money can buy.
Items lined up for next month:
a) SLR (no no not a digital one. I want to know how it feels to be behind a camera and as per my photography mentor who happens to be my flatmate as well, a NIKON F6 is just perfect for me.
Avilable for around SGD 500)
b) MOTOROLA's RAZOR (It is a phone. Really a beautiful one.
Calling it my own would mean SGD $700-800)
c) A good SAMSONITE or AMERICAN TOURISTER travel bag. (SGD 100-200)
Obvioulsy all these will take a back seat if my plan to visit India in May is approved. Then in that case i think I will need some 1200-1300 SGD for the visit and air tickets and all the other plans would be on hold.
my motto "SHOP TILL YOU DROP"
PS: As usual am open to gifts from frineds or strangers. In case you are kind enough please feel free to contact me. I would be more than happy to replace the afroesaid items with something else more tempting..:D
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