There is a problem you know about.
There is a problem with your emotional self. It comes up when you love something, when you are emotionally too attached to something. And it makes you bleed and weep.
It makes you feel so sad about that you just can't think of something else.
And yes I have that problem with me.
It doesn't matter what is the centre of the problem but when something comes near or touches something which is so close to my heart I just can't breathe easy and here am now blogging sitting in front of one such problem, I just can't put my point across. I don't want someone to bog it down or to create a scene because here I am sitting thinking about it and bloddy in a bad mood cause of all this.
And bloody this thing ain't something really its work. Bloody this project.
Why do I regret it every time.
I have grown so myopic spending my hours over it, day after day.
To an extent that I take everything personally now.
Bloody bad. Makes me sad.
I can' take it now. I can't make it now.
Why am I making an emotional fool of mine. Why does it hurt so much. I am sick.
Why does work mix so much into my life.
What the fuck....:(
when will i stop being a fool.....when god kows when.
Look what I have now because of this sleepless nights, terrible headaches, am staying away from home in Singapore in that house that sux, I don't eat meals regularly..and I am not even professionally sure like what after RBS..why would some one hire me. I am losing everything still its like moths I keep pushing my self beyond limits.
Why ...why..why do I suffer all this..
Sep 14, 2005
Sep 9, 2005
garhwali folk music
Am in a good mood today and I don't know why? Yes thats what has become of me.
May be thats because I just had a chat with my frn avinash one guy with whom I have shared such a long time talking that anything we talk about now feels like it has already been talked about.
Or may be its about the music I am listening to.
I don't know much about garhawali music. Before that I need to tell you whomsoever you are that garhawal and kumaon are two prominent parts of the state called Uttaranchal in India. And its the place where the spirituality of the world belongs to, yes literally speaking its calles "DEVBHUMI" or the land of the gods.
Garhwalis are people who belong to this place calles Garhwal and I am one of them.
Garhwali's are famous for just what Gurkha's are known for. Their honesty and their loyalty. Am thats what makes me feel proud of.
I was not much of a garhwali until I grew up and realised how distantly I was a part of the Garhwal. I could not speak the native language, could not understand the folk music, virtually knew the place as it existed and as I started moving away I started realising that the bond was slowly and alowly becoming stronger. And I guess thats what I have realised about life that we tend to realise the importance of things only when the things are taken away from us. I didn't realise how great was my native place until I moved out, how beautiful and peaceful it was until I was away, in fact how great is India and what is the joy of being an Indian until I came here to Singapore.
But am happy better late than never.
am listening to Narendra Singh Negi. The most popular of the singers in whole of the uttaranchal and isn't it an irony in my life that being such a music buff I have attended very few of concerts and of those one was Negi's at IIT Kanpur during my post graduation days.
This is such simple music that may be people can say there is no depth in it. This is so plane and refreshing. Just like the tibbet or chinese tranditional music. Music they rightly say has no boundaries. I spent the whole day listening to tibettan and chinese music from some chinese website about tibet which I could not even decipher a word about. But I could relate to the music so easily.
Whatever it is.
I know today that India is the best. And am proud to be Indian.
I am a global citizen and music is one of the best things I can appreciate in life.
Too many things together in a post. May be it is, may be it is not but thats why its an impression of chaos in my life :)
May be thats because I just had a chat with my frn avinash one guy with whom I have shared such a long time talking that anything we talk about now feels like it has already been talked about.
Or may be its about the music I am listening to.
I don't know much about garhawali music. Before that I need to tell you whomsoever you are that garhawal and kumaon are two prominent parts of the state called Uttaranchal in India. And its the place where the spirituality of the world belongs to, yes literally speaking its calles "DEVBHUMI" or the land of the gods.
Garhwalis are people who belong to this place calles Garhwal and I am one of them.
Garhwali's are famous for just what Gurkha's are known for. Their honesty and their loyalty. Am thats what makes me feel proud of.
I was not much of a garhwali until I grew up and realised how distantly I was a part of the Garhwal. I could not speak the native language, could not understand the folk music, virtually knew the place as it existed and as I started moving away I started realising that the bond was slowly and alowly becoming stronger. And I guess thats what I have realised about life that we tend to realise the importance of things only when the things are taken away from us. I didn't realise how great was my native place until I moved out, how beautiful and peaceful it was until I was away, in fact how great is India and what is the joy of being an Indian until I came here to Singapore.
But am happy better late than never.
am listening to Narendra Singh Negi. The most popular of the singers in whole of the uttaranchal and isn't it an irony in my life that being such a music buff I have attended very few of concerts and of those one was Negi's at IIT Kanpur during my post graduation days.
This is such simple music that may be people can say there is no depth in it. This is so plane and refreshing. Just like the tibbet or chinese tranditional music. Music they rightly say has no boundaries. I spent the whole day listening to tibettan and chinese music from some chinese website about tibet which I could not even decipher a word about. But I could relate to the music so easily.
Whatever it is.
I know today that India is the best. And am proud to be Indian.
I am a global citizen and music is one of the best things I can appreciate in life.
Too many things together in a post. May be it is, may be it is not but thats why its an impression of chaos in my life :)
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