ICU Stories - the night watchman

His name is Muhammad. He is not the regular guy you recruit as a watchman. He does night duty for INR 5000 per month and the perks are free food and a space to sleep. He works 7 days a week.

The question is what us about him that am blogging about. He is not even an ICU or hospital guy. He works at the guest house where I am living.

He used to be a commercial truck driver and drove in India for 25 years between 1980 and 2005. Those were the times when the national highways were not four lanes and the driving was very troublesome. As per him "saheb aisa koi nazara nahi jo kisi.ne bataya ya humne padha ho aur dekha na ho" - sir I have seen every sight I have heard or read about in India.

But what is so special about him. His life is a sort of contrasts and his faith and manners surprise. He is a short thin man with a white beard like most people keep when they don't want to shave. He drove non-stop for 25 years until his eyes were no longer good enough to drive. He returned back to his native place near Sultanpur, UP for six years. He lost his wife and understood that his sons don't earn enough to feed the family. The only time in his life when he wanted to stay at peace and in one place.

He returned to Noida to earn again. Today at 60 he says "sir yaha jindagi ruki se hai" (life is too static here). And adds "malik ke dua hai, yaha tak wohi laya hai. Peeche ke chinta nahi hai bas aage ka sochna hai. Agar mere haath pair ruk gaye to na jane kya hoga. Bas aise he jaan nikal jaye chalte chalte".

He speaks with a calmness I haven't seen much. Probably it only comes to those who have inner peace and immense patience. Someone who has immense faith in the lord and life.

Hats of Muhammad - we all can learn a lesson from you. It is indeed easiest to blame it on destiny; sulk and cry and you have not chosen that path. It takes immense strengh to stand up alone, take charge of your life and not complain but express Gratitude. This world survives by the spirit of yours !

Hats off !

ICU Stories - The Attendant of Bed No. 7

Let me give you a situation. Imagine this - you are 84. Your spouse is in ICU and very critical. You were a decorated officer with the armed forces. You have four sons - one is a qualified medical practioner himself in the same city. The other three are settled abroad after their respective doctorates. The doctors tell you only one thing - all that can be done is being done and hope is grim.

How will you respond.

Close your eyes. Yeah I want you to really think about your response. There is no point if you can't relate to the situation.

Let me be open and share mine. I guess I will be quiet and withdrawn. I will switch off my phone. I will not talk to anyone and ask everyone to leave me alone. I will not give up but I will face it alone and never entertain questions or thoughts like why is my spouse suffering. I might say a prayer or two. I will cry but no one will see it.

Think about your response....

Now let me tell you about uncle. I never talk to people in hospitals. However uncle smiles in a manner you just can't resist him. He talks in a polite tone. He always asks everyone how they are? He always smiles though I have seen him cry too. His love for his wife I guess makes his voice heavy but he holds his emotions so well.

He never forgets to ask me about my Dad. His politeness manner and composure surprises me every time I speak to him.

I have just one word for him Respect and I wish his wife speedy recovery. This gentlemam has touched me in a manner I guess very few ever will !

Uncle I will not be able to tell you but I really wish you were not alone. Your sons should have been by your side in this hour.

Peace.

ICU Stories - The Critical Care Doctors

With all due respect to the noble profession of doctors - I guess not everything is too well. The profession needs a thorough medical check up and may be intervention cause too much is at stake. In India doctors have been raised to the level of Gods. Yeah if you are an outsider and don't agree you haven't really seen it. Doctors are literally worshipped and no questions are usually asked - may br because doctors did save lives and secondly because of the illiteracy and poverty. This is even more so in rural and government hospitals.

Few things have changed now however - internet boom and the high penetration of internet. And doctors don't seem to like it ! At least the ICU doctors.

First of all let me say I respect doctors. The trauma patients and attendants are always serious. There are restrictions on visiting hours and all that but imagine 21 beds for 1 senior duty doctor and 1 junior. Hats off the system runs in India and the cost vs. quality is very much in favor of patients.

What am I cribbing about then ?

* The doctors are rarely discussing things. The information never includes relevant details until you ask and know what needs to be asked

* Processes and declarations are brought out for signatures but never explained. Dad has been subjected to four spinal taps or lumber puncture for CSF tests - never was I explained the risks. One of my friend explained me the signs to watch out for and potential risks and trust me not many in India have access to such awesone knowledgeable friends.

* Details of treatment - the doctors never disclose the details unless asked about persistently and why is it important? Dad had a stent put in post his MI or heart attack and there is a critical drug he is on for at least two years. The drug was stopped because he was suspected of some blood in urine and we were not updated. So far so good but then they forgot to start it ! Imagine that and it can potentially lead to another blockade and what not !

* The side effects - Dad was on steroids for eight months due to a rare condition called PMR - a kind of rehumatic fever. The steroids are immuno suppressants - we were never disclosed the fact that it induces a similar condition like HIV. He got infected with fungal (cryptococcal) menningitis - a fatal disease which is associated with people having severely low immunity.

And I have come across a doctor who said to me "leave the technical details to us"; "what do you do" in a tone which meant stay out of this you are not a doctor; "did u read that out of internet" in a tone which meant idiot u have no clue - isn't it strange. I have been attending to Dad full time for a month - if I can manage complex supply chains why shouldn't I try to understand my Dad's treatment.

I will try to read every report and document because I have time which means even if I might not be relevant but I can still ask layman logical questions.

However dear doctors either raise level of service for everyone or please be prepared for more concerns and questions being raised. By the way if we step back and see - it is a service being offered and patients are paying for it ! We have the duty to not cross the line but yes it will be difficult to dodge questions and hide behind technical details

ICU Stories - the back ground

Well some strange things happen in life especially when we are a little less obsessed with meetings deadlines and work. One such window has opened up in my life - Dad has been in ICU in Delhi since 22 May 2012. Delhi was an important bit of information because my folks are based out of Dehradun and I work in Bangalore. So in between the two or three allowed visits to see and visit Dad, there is a lot of time with nothing but waiting.

This log is about what happens in those times. The patients relatives and attendants I meet and their stories.

Why I am writing this log - well firstly I feel good when I met some of these. Their resolves were outstanding defying everything else. Some I was sorry to know but most importantly each one touched me in a unique way.

For each patient which lays inside I just say speedy recovery and may the best as per almighty's plan happen.

Peace.