and all the sins were washed away

Last week it started to rain on Saturday. It rained throughout the week unlike normal thunder storm showers in Singapore. The sky was pouring its heart out.
Alas mere mortal were not able to understand what was happening. The nature was preparing Singapore for the christmas and new year celebration.

Its not a white christmas here but still it can be a rainy one. And look how beautiful it lookes just after the rain.


The rains washed away all the sins.
And today on the christmas eve alls fresh again. As it was when the child was born.

Wishing You All Merry Christmas !!

"I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys."
~Charles Dickens

And for all dear pals and friends
"If a fat old man comes tonight and bags you in, do not get frightened, it is just that i request Santa for a friend like you"

Enjoy!!

PS: Here is the christmas gift some one sent for me.
Thanks a TON. Nothing could have beem more flattering :)

GOOGLE : Will the Power Corrupt !!!

Look where Google has reached today from collecting a Penny at a time - billions flowing in and every body in the world believes in the might of the company and now every body understands the might and muscle that google has. No doubt they have been accepted as the true competitors. No wonder yahoo profits are dented and what started as a simple search engine has proved to be the the biggest lesson for IT companies.

Simple is beautiful, elegant and powerful. It takes a herculean effort and understanding to built a simple solution. Google has done it just right.

But has there been a shift in the focus.
When we first logged on to the gmail service we were all happy customers. Who thought that 10 MB was too less unless the 1 GB thing came in and changed the world. No doubt every one else in the business was like shocked. Meanwhile Orkut had also started making waved by then. Imagine that both services had that exclusive feeling because one needed an invitation to join.
Google always knew how to convey the message. Don't just allow customers to walk in. Let them feel preveliged and they shall be too eager to walk in.

Orkut has all the data that all the big companies - marketing ones are always asking for. Exact demographics, your hobbies, what you like, even your picture - any one would like to buy.
Simple trick does the job. They know what you like what you hate and what not.
Its not a surprise that they had some advertise link inviting companies to advertise on orkut. It was expected.

The major surprise was not the purchase of Blogger the service which is providing me this opportunity to scribble these thoughts. The surprise was the slow gradual approach which conveys to users that how seamless it is to use the Blogger or Gmail or Gtalk or the Picasaweb or the excel sheet using the single password and username.

The truth is this is not wrong. But this has not reached the proportions when it can go wrong. Google now has become a web giant with absolute powers. The world today welcomes it. Why should the consumers be worried. Everything is free and better than it was yesterday. ( No ther e is no need to talk about the role the Google is playing in CHINA. Fully understood they are also like dying to tap the biggest population in China - this much accepted because they are also here to do business - why would they bother for the people whose statistics they are handing out to the authorities. Its like Yahoo does it - Cisco helps them - everybody does it. Its like have to do it otherwise the market is closed for them. This debate is more so emotional and about ethics. Shall take up this one seprately some other time)

The only problem is that some people are skeptical about even the good things.
Remember what some one said about trust. Unless you trust you cannot be betrayed or cheated. Some one also said "Power Corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

We just can pray that google ain't another M$. We can just pray.
Otherwise it would be like another story of capitalist bullshit.

Wait and watch as the drama unfolds.

Just couldn't resist

Bill Waterson portray's what I always felt was so true.
For the kid in all of us.



You are a genius BILL.

how busy is busy?

No this is not like one of those regular boring thoughts that i scribble here. What am asking you who all come here to read my blogs.

How busy are you?

Because I have found my answer.


"You are only as busy as you want to pretend or as busy as you are bad at managing your time or only as busy as you want to use as an excuse."

Why I am saying so.
When was the last time I saw the sunset or the sunrise. Its been a long long time. Last time was in thailand. But its not because I am busy. I am to goddamn lazy thats all. have been sleeping all weekends for almost a month now. Yes I have not been wprking that hard lateley. Timelines are tight but its okay kind of as there is more than sufficient breathing space.

Thats why I realise that its an excuse that comes up in our heads. Thats its too hectic of a schedule. It applies to me and if I am not mistaken then the same applies to you too.

SAD BUT TRUE.

"Eureka "..now ask me why I am so happy.
Because now when I know the problem is there and has been identified there can be some solution to this one too.

So buddies don't worry I am going to reply you all on time. Will not wait for the leisure time to write long mails to you. I am going to call you whenever the thought comes to my mind rather than waiting till the evening.

Hope this applies to you too.
My mobile is waiting and please don't keep eternally waiting like I was doing. That one min conversation is also as good and as appreciated then the wait for that long one. We don't have much to share or talk but still the enigma and warmth in the voice is something which itself means a lot to me ..and i think same holds a special meaning for you too.

BREAK FREE...

technology and internet

hey pals..yes i have been on and off..bloggin erratically ..not much to share about.
There are few new dimesions in which technology has been influencing my life.

Considering the time spent online and the time spent talking over the phone, there is hardly any time spent doing something else. Finding information or GOOGLING has become the most confusing activity. Information is CHAOS and it becomes evident almost anyday now. There is so much information. Terrabytes of data that finding it and verifying it has become almost impossible.
websites like wikipedia are there. There is information but I am never sure what I am rreading is what? Whose point of view and whats it is. But thats the way it is now. Accepted and so before going to the movie I don't read review. Takes all the fin out. 20 reviews of a movie and you cannot decide what it is. To write your own you have to go and watch the movie. Intersting isn't it.

This is one aspect of it. On the other hand are things like PANDORA [http://pandora.com] try it out. This is unlike any other radio on the internet and for those who want to experiment with music this is the thing worth trying provided bandwidth is not a conern.

Though I have been lsitening to so much music these days that I cannot make out what is what. My DVD playes acts as an amplifier for the laptop thats all the use it has now a days. I have bought cds but not even put them into my ipod. Somehow it feels that there is no choice and options in the 30 GB of music i carry on my waist.

There is so much there to see and listen to in this world. I wonder were people referring to internet when they said "so much".

When we were small kids we waited weeks for episodes to come on TV. Now you can download all of them. Watch them one after there...but is there that much of fun in it now. Yes and No.

Somehow I feel when things become too easy to get. It becomes tougher to appreciate them. This is luxary or this is pain. Is this a vicious cycle. Whatever it is. this is it :) and its engulfing the whole of the existece.

Watch out..when is your turn ?

sea of change and breeze of fresh air

"Change should be incremental" my boss keeps saying all the time otherwise the resistance is higher. I tend to agree and dis agree both. But thats obvious isn't it because every body has his own fighting syle and mine is to strike with full force and take the enemy down. Anything less and its not a 100% effort.
Plan it meticulously, wait for the moment and then slither the problem or the enemy. Crude voilent but if plannes well one attack does the job. Misson Accompalished.

Naive isn't it. Yep I do agree.
So I do borrow his style some times.

I am working on so many thigns now a days that I am not even sure at times where to focus. Life is throwing up challenges and life style challenges are like HOLLOWS( BTW have u watched Bleach..am hooked to animation..google..an its bloody addictive) and am charging with my zamphaktu(soul slayer). They bog me down. Terrible mood swings and negative vibes are working on me but I am working...working out on these things.

Some things have been happening every week.
Professionaly am writing documents for a new system to be developed. Meetings have come down a bit. Chatting has gone up during the weekends.
As a surprise smoking has gone down and am swimming some times.

Lets see how far these things go..but am standing with my feet firm and slayer charged.


Just a quick update
Check out snaps on the photoblog. There has been some activity there :) and do leave some comments.

whats a blog for?

what is a blog for?
Its not a diary its not a medium its something which comes back to you.
So whats it if its not what it has been...
This is what I will try to figure out before I blog next time because there are so many strings attached to blogging...

Insatiable desire..pack bags leave and shoot

I am growing more and more insatiable. The travel bug has bitten me and I am finding it more than tempting. I just want to surrender to this feeling. I was just wondering how many good travels happened since july 2004 despite mine being so busy (coz am working full time)

After passing out from IITK I came to bangalore. That was the last long train journey through bhopal across India. I didn't carry a camera then but so many good things happened on that trip.
From bangalore started the rush to travel.

a) Bangalore - Mysore - Bangalore
Next came up this trip to Mysore. First trip on Karnataka roads. The TIPU palance and all was really interesting trip.

b) Bangalore - Mangalore-Sooratkal-Murudeshwar - Bangalore
Packed bags with friends to Mangalore and that was the first trip to coastal karnataka. The beaches of suratkal, just imagine only 4-5 frns on a beach felt like a private beach. Then travelled on a local bus to join my sister and jiju who also drove from bangalore. Then travelled all the way to Murudeshwar with them. Believe me Western Ghats are beautiful. That reminds me that I should capture all those video footage and snaps.

c) Bangalore-Singapore
Travelled to Singapore and later it became evident that I was here to stay.

e)Singapore- Johar - Kuala Lumpur-Genting-Mallaca - Singapore
One helluva vacation of theme parks and water parks. Drove with colleagues together to Malaysia. Lots of pictures and lots of memories.
The most captured trips on photographs

d) Singapore-Dehradun-Rishikesh-Tehri Gharwal-Singapore
A normal trip to dehradun became a long exciting one because bro was also there and we teamed up together to drive to a remote village in tehri garhwal. The roads were being blasted and we were driving up. Finally had to give it up because the terrain was too harsh and walked afterwards.
Sad but no pics of that triumph. Maruti would had definetely awarded us for this one.

This trip also included the first ever flight from delhi to dehradun. First chance to see dehradun from the top.

e) Bangalore - Mysore - Ooty - Bangalore
Went out to tamilnadu hill station and rented a car from bangalore to Ooty with avinash and his bro mickey. Fantastic place to go and njoy the chill even in off-season. Liked the place
Another trip which is well documented

f)Bangalore - ChillChilla Falls-Shivasamudram - Bangalore
Outings with family and all like one day trips from Bangalore. Interesting and memorable in each sense. Lots of photographs.

g)Bangalore - Mysore - Coorg - Bangalore
The whole family including my parents drove to Coorg. The Kavri Udgam and all the intersting places around this hill station in Karnataka famous for coffee and pepper. Warm people and beautiful as well. First outing with parents after I started working
Got a chance to check out the bird sanctuary in Mysore and those crocs they look great basking in the SUN

h)Singapore-Dehradun-Meerut - Singapore
Got a taste of local travel in buses and all and then chance to board local buses. Was actually surprised to see a POS being used on a CITI bus. And the highways have become very cool in uttaranchal

i)Singapore-Hyderabad - Singapore
Truly hang out vacation. Urban days lazing around and shopping. Hyderabad is a kewl laid out place especially nice since we have a gals college jus next to our place in hyderabad.

j)Sinapore-Phuket(Thailand)- Singapore
One helluva trip.
Beautiful picturesque - one of the best shots places i have ever visited.
Well captured and a truly realaxing one

Still to go places
a) Uttaranchal - Badrinath - Kedar Nath - with parents
b) Penang - Malaysia
c) Krabi/Bangkok/Pattaya - Thailand
d) Bali - Indonesia


Wish there were no VISAs and Passports required for us to travel and travel was as easy as 123...may be someday it will be

F***ing don't want a Tuk Tuk or a Suit or a Massage..... Tom Yum...Oh YES!!!

Phuket is more famous in asia then any other beach and you have to be an English to appreciate it the most (SUN TAN SEX AND BEERS). Why because being an asian like me its not so easy to appreciate the TAN because of the SUN (thank god pigments prevent those frickels on our skin) and secondly because we don't have that economcial advantage to spend on those thai escorts(read hookers).

But still despite of my Indian upbringing phuket is a place which is a must visit. The Thai Bhat is almost valued the same as the India currency (so almost the same spending power for frns who want an economic comparison) though we don't have the advantage that EURO or other currencies njoy

The VISA On arrival is a big plus for people like us who don't know where they are heading for and when. Sometimes I really wonder why do we need VISA and passport to move around. But "FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBOURS" so there are too many people buying the idea and this has shaped the world where we live today.

So whats the must do in Thailand?
Get a MASSAGE - foot massage and full body thai massage are both recommended. The massage is a must have for any one but some how thai massages have become so much associated with the follow up sex ritual that there is a weak link between the to. But luckily for me it was a good masseur who knew the difference between the two.

Another see is the place where Vegas got its idea of a babe making love to a POLE. The place is called a GO GO bar but its too difficult for me to appreciate. But must see becuase unless you taste the wine its too bookish or isn't it?

TUK TUK is another word which anyone cannot stop hearing. Literally it means TAXI and there are more TUK TUK's on road sometimes you think then the poeple in off season.

What's must do if you just want to have a good time in Phuket?
a) Book into a good hotel with breakfast room service
b) Prefer a room which has a sea facing balcony so that u can catch the most part of the sunset on the beach and the follow up from ur balcony sipping ur fav drink ( Awesome display of color unfolds into the andaman sea every day and the sunset will make any one's heart skip a beat)
c) Pamper your self with massages
d) Hang out in any of the numerous pubs..see how the world changes by the night
e) Stay away from all the good looking gals who are blowing kisses or holding ur hand..coz most of them are MEN or thats what earns then easy money
f) Eat ur heart out---TOM YUM soup/ Anything served with Thai Sauce /Chicken Satay and in case you like seafood..thailand is heaven
g) Go for any of those boat rides..which are like full or half day into the sea and watch the beauty of those limestone rocks and mountains in the emerald sea. Unless someone goes out no pictures can capture the feeling
h)Ride a rented bike in the town...@200 bhats per day a must do

And don't forget to return people the NAMASTE. Thai people are so warm that you will always want to visit them again. Thats for sure.

PS: Check out the photoblog for snaps from the trip

the epitome of nothingness

Nothingness fills the air as I sit in the office on this saturday afternoon.
Am not doing anything but I am sitting here because I wanted to spend some time alone. Though I agree that a time out with friends on a beach or just sitting in the gandhi lawns or a long walk in the inner circle with friends from college (alas gone are the days and the fact that office mates can never be friends) would had been just perfect and a beer or some whisky would had definetely elevated the mood but here its all so different(even i can't believe that the alcohol today tastes bad to me).

Wanted to go and sit somewhere and be idle so I walked to the office thinking that some work will help me calm down. But after so many years (26 + years) of living with myself I still don't know what makes me click and what makes me go numb.

Am frustrated with my self. Just another thought how can one be frustrated with some one else and even if I am then what can be done..nohting..that would be even more frustrating. Am bored to death. This work keeps on expanding the more I try to keep it under control the more of it falls on my hands. It's always the part I do trying to sqeeze my personal space so that work gets done but it doesn't pay of. Rework more rework and more rework thats the full story.

But its strange or isn't it. Some one who is giving u company in office is playing games all the time and you are just slogging. Here the work never ends the deadlines are never met. There is always something pressing so hard that it eventually pressurises an takes away more of that personal space (as if there is something personal here).

Take last release for UAT,the estimate was right cannot be done in the sipulated time. Yet it was like should go ahead and we did it. Result slogging in the office till 2 AM in the morning and next day was so bloody packed with meetings. This is more than that can be handled sometimes I think. But this is it n whom should I go and tell this to?
My boss who himself is trying to make it through putting in all he has. Whom should i go and tell this to? This is my choice - working in a start up.
The problem is there is no end to it. Yesterday night again the release on production was like that. Reached home at 2 AM. Thank god this is saturday but what shall I do if its a saturday and what difference does a saturday make. All bloody seven days are SUNDAYS.

Don't even wanaa go and hang out with friends from office. Even dont want to talk to them. There is nothing but office all around.

But who has built this web.

We humans are sometimes so stupid that its beyond our own comprehension. We strive for things. We pray for them to happen and when they happen we desperately try to find a way to get out of them. Piece by piece I was involved in this setup. It was me who decided to build this thing my way and now sometimes i feel like trapped in this.

Self motivating oneself is not so easy as it seems. Its not at all easy when you don't see things moving. Though its just a very relative term. "To see things moving" had to important references worth noticing. The "thing" and "movement".
Every body has his own definitions for "thing" and "movement" and it also depends upon the priorities and degree of responsibility you take.

I don't want to discuss this coz it makes me think at time that the more i think about it more i feel about where i stand today.

Feel like running away and hiding somewhere but the problem is you cannot hide away from yourself and there is no running away. Its you who is the victim and you who is the tormentor.

Still at the end of it without doing anything I hope that things will improve.
I am OKAY. It's OKAY.
and if it's too good or too bad "THIS TOO SHALL PASS".

thoughts for food or food for thought

Happened to me while talking to team mates in office.

Miracles do happen.
Some people call them bugs other call them features


And the following one is an old time favourite

No no we don't charge you for bugs.
They come for free

think about it until i keep myself busy with things which keep me busy :P

end of an era..Syd is gone -- PONY is chopped

the July was a month in its own.
Not so importat coz ir marked as the month i finally chopped my pony tail ;)..was too bored and believe me its too much of a pain to manage it..especially when some one as frequent headaches and singapore hot and humid climate to njoy throught the year. But the month was cruel but it marked the end of an era. Syd Barett shot into fame for the last time...last time the REAL FLOYD was in news into media but alas the news was bad news :(

Syd barett shot into fame once again and this time no it was not a stunt by David Gilmour and the New Floyd association but it was his tragic demise and the news that he as finally succumbed to the pressure of life..in the form of diabetes.

BTW before I forget there was this footage somebody uploaded on the you tube . You can see the talented Syd in the early days of the Pink Floyd. Here is a quick link.
(Don't forget to notice him playing guitar with his lighter).

But SYD we still believe it was and it will always be your BAND. Whatever happened happens and shit happens sometimes. But man you rocked the world, you are still rocking it and as long as people will love Pink Floyd even if they love Gilmour some day they will love you coz all roads through Floyd lead to your tomb and shall always end there only.

Long Live the PINK FLOYD's SYD ....RIP SYD.

holics for work

Last to last week's open window made me think about what's going on in my life. Not that the exercise made me change my ways, or stimulated me to think about the problem. Rather I will say that all it conveyed and that too in a very subtle manner that I have very few friends I was frequently talking to, made me ponder that after work hours haunt me because I don't know what to do. It conveyed that there was something different in life here in Singapore. And so I thought why not spend some time away from the routine and why not question what seems so right and obvious.
Because if there is a problem then it needs to be rectified and the commitment should be the same as that for work.

"IT people do everything online". Yes I mean it. It's not surprising to find an IT person surfing web looking for swimming instruction (I have seen a frn do that) or learning online how to play a guitar (hats off to my boss). Doing a google comes up so naturally now that I can't imagine any other source of information other than internet. This however reminds me that how painful it has become now a days to surf web. Its not far off that people would be paid for searching information on internet as using google is becoming more and more difficult. But this we can discuss sometimes later also.

I tend to drift a lot and that's what happens when you are searching for something online. Oops i wanted to search about WORKAHOLISM and look what google brings...

Here are some warning signs of workaholism:
a)Your home is just another office.
b)You are hard-driving, competitive, and overly committed to your work.
c)You take office equipment with you wherever you go, even on vacations.
d)Work makes you happier than anything else in your life.
e)Sleep and playtime seem like a waste.
f)You believe that if you get the chance to do it again, you'll do it right.
g)You get restless on vacation (if you even take them) and sometimes cut them short.
h)You frequently are "problem solving" work situations in your mind, even during your "time off."
i)Friends either don't call anymore, or you can't wait to get off the phone when they do call.
i)People who love you tell you that "you have a lot of energy," are "manic," or are a "workhorse."
j)You are tired, irritable, socially isolated, and might even have physical stress symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, shortness of breath, racing heart, muscle tension, or ulcers.

If you can see yourself in most of these characteristics, you probably are a workaholic.
"

Am speechless...each one of these is yes in a way>.laptop goes every where with me..office is home and home is office ..what not headaches and innsomnia keeps visintg as if was sharing my bed...but is it a mere coincidence...People what about you. Dear Mr. Anonymous people say its a problem. Bosses promote this, world encourages this and then one day they say its a problem.

On the second thoughts I think people just hate whatever I start falling in love with. Thats about me how about you.....

excerpts from junkie's diary...

The summer sun as westerners call it appears every day in Singapore. Its hot and humid throughout the year and that's why Malaysia and Singapore are so popular destinations for Europeans and Americans. Add to that the fact the conversion rate also makes it easy for them to afford most things in Singapore. Luxury ain't that expensive here when you are earning in Euros or Pounds or USD.
But I didn't open up this post to talk about the economic feasibility of a holiday out here for them nor I wanted to discuss the weather of Singapore. What I wanted to discuss instead is that today am sitting in front of my open window at home. Before of I go on and talk about the open window, there is something more important than this open window. This ain't something which happens everyday. This is an event which I cannot seem to remember in near past or foresee in near future.
Its a sunday afternoon am at home unlike most other sundays. I am not working today, despite of the fact that there are so many deadlines to chase and am just sitting here with air-conditioner switched off. Yes, that's precisely why the window is closed mostly. The hot sun and humidity are best fight when you are armed with aircons.

Outside my window is another world. It sometimes feel I am looking at something I don't know. These are apartments which any one from Indian subcontinent won't bother not to call High Rise, there are people living in them though I assume it or one can say conclude it because the curtains I can see in houses are moving sometimes. There is a beautiful garden (what am I comparing it to..now I wonder this is a lame comparison apples to oranges no better would be oranges to potatoes whatever) and a soft window is blowing.

But I ain't feeling anything good or bad about it. It just doesn't feel like anything. I am listening to the music my iPOD is churning and is playing on the music system. But I can't feel anything. All the thoughts that come to me just pass me by like the wind that is causing the leaves to shuffle. Sometimes the wind is too strong and the leaves jostle but mostly the wind just flows by. That's the kind of thought pattern I have been having.

Give me 10 mins to sit idle I remember my laptop or iPOD. Restrict me from thinking about work and I don't have anything worthwhile to think about. In the pursuit of being busy this work has become something which booze or dope could not become. An addiction which lets me escape, transcend into someone else, a fictitious hero who is fighting the odds, challenging life and work and people to come and fight.

Am living in my own world, hallucinating not like a junkie high on drug but this is another LSD called work. This one is socially acceptable makes you go numb, easily available rather in abundance and people like you to have as much as u can.

What wrong are those junkies doing? Killing themselves too early harming society and what not. What are we doing?

that's why I don't open the windows. Better keep them closed. Its too hard to confront yourself. Its too hard to lie.

Food for thought: "alcoholics" & "workoholics", why do they sound like each other and rhyme. Ever wondered why?

"Close that window...pull the curtains..there is too much light outsight it blinds me and the fresh air is suffocating..."

Just to quote for the scraps..some one talked about searching for something...PINK FLOYD..says it all...

"Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
go down this road we've been so many times"

ratti mein jalawa diwa

"sanu ek pal chain naa aawae..."

feels like some one is singing in the train while u are travelling in the summers through the beautiful landscapes of the chambal..beween jhasi and gwalior.....some one singing and begging...remember that huskiness in the voice..the pain and the emotion...well there is somethign close to it..which just makes you go round and round..absorbs youa nd leaves one mesemerized. The guys who has that effect in his voice is called Kailash Kher and the song am talking big about is called "Sanu ek pal" (Though I am not sure its the song which is the catalyst or its my soul which has a very low flash point..but whatver it is..am on fire)

Kailash Kher shot into fame with the "Allah Ke Bande". There is how ever much more than that the guy has.The pious voice is worth of much more. Just got a chance to lay hands on one of his album called "awargi" (courtset pauyaar.com) and the believe me if some one likes the rustic huskiness in the voice of abida parveen or the voice of Nusrat saheb in his last days, this guy has a lot of potential then this voice is a real contender in the league if and thats big if..the guys becomes more consistent.

The song "sanu ek pal" is rendered in the folk sufi style. The guy hails from the lucknow but the voice has that rural touch some one who has lived its life in may be haryana rajasthan or perhaps sindh. Enchanting experience thats what would I say.

But every rose has its thorn. The guy is pretty inconsistent in the album. Sometimes the songs are too dry and you kinda feel the lack of emotions. But neverthless this guy will be someone to watch in near future.

Keep singing dude..we are listening....and for those who prefer to try here is the link

"rati mein jalawa diwa..hanjawa de terada..
hayo rabba sajana nu cheeti kyon nahi bhejda"

Just a quick update there is one more classic from the guy

A new track called Naiharwa in the album Kailasa.

.one more excellent composition,,this one has some eastern UP touch...naiharwa....
Must hear for the lovers of sufi and abida's fan..and believe me it won't dissapoint you.

the guilt of doing business

Yes even I don't know how to put it this way.

The way people behave when something is seems to be going wrong in business. People are looking for emails, other proofs to be produced as an evidence when they anticipate something may wrong.

And how unreasonable this activity is I cannot really comment on it. Yes logically speaking no one would like to be blamed for someone else's fault, but does pin pointing a finger really helps. When people are pursuing something together as a team, the aim is to speak "MISSION ACCOMALISHED" together. But how corporate buck passing works it makes me ponder is it really so or it is what just shows and is portrayed.

No I am not at the recieving end of this. But I know that if every one does his or her job there would be no need for the search of a scape goat. These small things can be tackled far easily by human minds working together. But instead of working out together we are trying to work out against each other. There is more contingency planning going around than the effort to make it out sometimes. How to justify this I don't know. May be am too young, I don't undertand the basic business rules or playing safe strategies ..but still I cannot digest this logic.

There is life beyond success and failure. There is more to life than just pursuing a goal. Wouldn't it be fun if the journey was as pleasurable as the destination?

Destination is not some place where we will reach at the end of the jounrney. We are not supposed to celebrate when we reach at the end. The real fun lies in making the journey "the destination" and celebrating each moment. These success and failures are just pit stops ...keep throttling..

Keep walking ...thats what it means isn't it?


PS: For the anonymous person searching for me...yes this the person you are looking for....am the same guy who was at kvfri ddun n passsed out in 97.

the concept of critical path

Project management is one activity every aspiring developer wants to take on as eary as possible. When you look at the PM aka Project Manager you tend to like his job so much. This guy never needs to actually poke his head through the messy lines of code, never needs to debug, is only asking people about deadlines "WHY" and "WHEN", all the thinking he needs to do is about the documentation in either MS Word or MS Excel or max MS PowerPoint. Not only is the work looks so easy to do and what a handsome salary he is paid for all this easy task.
This is so natural to happen."GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER" on the other side and this ain't any exception.

How cna i say so coz I was in the developer team in fact even now I am but the only difference is that I am also looking at some things yes I will say some thigns because its such a big thing to handle and I am such a small fly I cannot say I am doing REAL PROJECT MANAGEMENT. I am not even ready for taking up that activity. Why because there are certain aspects to it I only realized when i stepped into the shoes.Primarily because

a) Users and Bosses in general are pretty unreasonable people
b) Users and bosses are human beings and have seasoned with experience
c) Deadlines are real
d) Resources - money (read resources) and time are limited

Amidst these pressures there is this guy struggling to keep a balance into what the clients demand...what they want as he needs to get the job done from his team. He needs to make sure that he envisages all activities which may or may not happen.He needs to plan and not only plan he needs to execute those plans. He needs to protect his team from the outside world and make life easier for them otherwise thr productivity and efficiency is at stake.

What I will say he does a heculean job. That is one reason that we apreciate only few of the managers and call a lot of them "Excel PM". Nothing wrong to it but mananging activities so that overall duration of the project is not exceeded requires much more than a human being has to offer. Thats what makes a successful PM different from all others. The real hero !!!

Sometimes this even means for him to lay himself down on the critical path to bridge the gaps.

So for today I wish someday I will become one "PM".

sweet thoughts of some one

In June 2005, I talked to some one for the last time.
Yes last time and I dun know where the person is. I cannot contact him..its so weird yet I keep thinking..how life is at the other end...

If some one knows whom I am talking about or if some one is in touch.
Please update me whats up at the other end...there are some string which life pulls every now and them.

I some times still think...its just human i guess to live on...

pink floyd rocks...
high hopes...playing on and on its been an hour...
and I am thinking am lost....
check out the video on you tube or google if u are missing this bit...
I cannot agree any more...even after years it still so fresh

--------------------------------------------------------------
Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun
Along the long road and on down the causeway
Do they still meet there by the cut
There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world

****

Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
go down this road we've been so many times

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river

Forever and ever
"Hey, is that Charlie? yes... Hello Charlie... great"

guns and roses reloaded

GnR as they are popularly called is one of my all time fav bands and its reloaded big time on my music scene. They are masters of the Rock and there was more than enough packed into the band members talents..AXL ROSE the perfect vocals and SLASH solos.Steven Adler on drums, Izzy Stradlin and Duff McKagan. Master musicians who shot to fame and were on top of the fame around 1990.But as it happens for most on the top. The band just disintegrated and Slash - Adler both are now with Velvet Revolver. As far as I know Axl Rose is the only member from the glorious past who is with Guns and Roses.But I think spilt was the last nail in the coffin coz unless all the ingredients are put in in correct propotions the meal cannot be perfect.

But that the shitty thisg is GnR couldn't handle making it big and shot to fame for bloody all the reasons other than music after they hit the top. So the ned was near. Axl went to drug rehab..he had his own set of problems..and eery body else walked off. Nevertheless some great songs were churned by the band. The powerfuil lyrics really make a point.

You name it and they have songs november rain, estranged, sweet child 'o mine, my michele, yesterday, paradise city,welcome to the jungle and lot more.

I think they are the only competing band with metallica on my hard rocking list who make full time comebacks.


\m/ keep rocking...

"I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I had to put her
Six feet under
And I can still hear her complain "
-- Used To Love Her (Lies)

Read more about them here on Wiki Pedia

all fucked up now...

kill me coz if u dun dear friend some one will...
hate me my frinend coz if u dun I will do it...

am sitting u..working on docs..presentations which don't seem to come to end..am churning shit each day..day after day..am tired..please dun bother to ask me how am I...I will say Great..am fine...no other words to say..

3 months now..for 3 months all these docs and emails and presentations...and pdf's no real work..no hands down technical stuff...this is whats happening here..any more updates wanted!!!...better dun ask

dun ask me anything coz I will lie..am frustrated am tired..thats the story as of now

huhh...

cooking what a fine thing to do

Well people who know me might be surprised when i reveal this new development. Remember someone long ago said "Need is the mother of invention". No no I have not invented somehting but what has happened latelt ever since i came back to Singapore this feb has changed my culinary habbits and to my wonder I have discovered that I do have an above average natural falir for cooking.
Never tried it before nor wanted to do. In singapore there were little options left after eating out for almost an year. Its so obvious that so many indians living abroad start cookig themselves. We are lazy people (no offences meant for those who are not but I am talking about the gang that I have and people I know) and for me eatihg out those fries and fried chicken and burgers call it McDonalds or KFC or Burger King or Moss Burger or Pizza at Pizza Hut ( I hate those Pizzas) leads to a mental agony. a guilt that you don't exercise and don't even eat healthy food. So I opted for cooking myself and it has turned out to be such good of an experience that I don't even like to ear at those fine diing resturants.

Can you believe I did daal makhani yesterday night. It was so fucking good that I have to confess even I hadn't thought it to be so. I didn't have any idea how to do so many vegetables or pulses but I tend to have a natural talent to do it better than I would put even many chefs who cook Indian food do.

I am so happy eating stuff that I like. I am not excellent at putting how much salt and 5-105 times it goes on the wrong side, but I hardly spend less than 40 mins including the time to eat on cooking. Now the next thing i can think of is learning how to make indian cread or roti as we all call it. Eating rice doesn't come so naturally to me.

Folks come over here...may be I will cook something for us to eat. This is what may be you never expected out of me..nevermind even I didn't!!

bk from hols..rush to toilet...ahaaaaaaaaaa

Went for a holiday to doon and came back to Singapore.
The holiday was so short that I cannot even say that it was one week i spent in India. It does not even feel like that. I started on 14th morning from here and came back on 23rd Morning. Still it feels like i hardly spent anytime at home but i think thatsw normal to think about holidays and what one feels afterwards.

But the baggage I came back with included something which has forced me to sleepless nights and days of uncomfort. Being so fond of Indian food, I tries eating at so many places including the famous Haldiram's at delhi, KC Soup Bar at dehradun and not to forget all the paani poories/chaat/tikki/ras malai at UP ke wedding. I think it would be unfair if I don't talk about unlimites stuffed parathas at home. So you can very well imagine what would had happened. Looks like of all the nuerous water bottles that I had gulped down..some one had some Enamoeba Histolitica waiting for me..and now all i have are trips are toilet..watery stools and mucous from intestine being flushed.

So folks I will say that one must plan everything especially this thing when you are returnig from India. Don't forget to pack in Ciprolet A to ease your tummy because you will inevitably be forced by something u ate/drank to rush to toilets infinite times. So please pack these tablets with you when you are returning from India and if you have a spare tablets..please pass on to me..........

BTW had the pleasure to attend UP's marriage in Meerut. Here are few pics...


------Preparing for the Day--Sis Doing Hinna on His Hands-----------


---------------Riding to get his soulmate-------------------------


----------------------------the bride n the groom----------------------------

and it unfolds

It unfolds slowly, so slow that no one notices. So slow that no ones knows. Before any one understands whats happening it unfolds so much that its only thought to be changing in leaps and bounds. But the question is what is it or what it is? This is something we all know so very well that we don't even know. Judging oursleves, judging others, working our day doing chores we are so busy that we even fail to realise that this something is nothing else but the LIFE which is what we are living every day.

One fine day we realise that life has happened to us. Life has changed and then we are struggling to find it its good or bad. How good and how bad? We forget to notice that the life has changed. One of such thing happens every now and then. It happens to me and it happens ro you.

Today was the first BIG meeting I attended. All the people sitting there were bigger than me and I was the youngest. I am sure none of them know me, but i knew them all. The room they called the board room. The CEO, the VP's all the big shots and there in the corner was me. The very me. I didn't speak anything. What would a small guy like me talk there in front of those people who talk about millions and shoulder the responsibility to do things which impact millions of dollars but we are all human isn't it.

These meetings happen all the time. And I sit there as a silent spectator. I am a spectator knowing so little that I am never comfortable to speak up there. Back in my office also when they talk technical stuff I am lost...

LOST I am because I don't know or because its so..it is as it is. There is something I am fighting for working charged up every night day after day but I really don't know what it is that keeps fuelling me everyday. A desire a fire an eternal flame to burn out rather than fade away..looks like an old story in the old package..Kurt Cobain said so as well right but he killed himself.

But I have a plan for my self. Work so hard, strive so hard that it kills you. Beats the shit out of you. That will finish me off. I am not sure about you.

"Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can’t be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he’s gone"

changing seasons

The seasons are changing..wasn't they were supposed to be. But is it Spring coming up or is it a cold winter no one really knows. Even if people know I surely don't know this.

The first season changed when I left for India thinking that may be there would be no coming back to Singapore and here I am sitting in Singapore in a new house surfing at midnight putting my thoughts on this blog. I have not even come back, I have commited myself to stay here for another 2-3 years. Life changes and scenes change.

A few really good things happened in between those days (when I was in India) to me. My parents came over to Bangalore to visit me. Just after leaving Bangalore I got an offer to get back to Singapore and start working on a new project, which was very much identical and very much different though domain being the same..came back with old folks. Not only did I came I also brought along with me Avinash who rocks like no one else...and just by being here he as changed my life here.

Now we have a house..which we share, where we talk. Avinash reminds me of all those old days in IIT K and never makes me feel old again. The routine in the daily life has broken and has given place to this new life here and am loving it. What else do you want from a place outside India that you are amongst people who know you.

Had some time to go places in India. Avinash, me and Abhilash went to Ooty. It was a nice trip with friends like old times to a new place. Then with the parents who were visiting bangalore went to Koorg just before going to OOty. It was also a memorable trip. Had they stayed longer it would had been even better and enjoyable. But sudden demise of Tauji made them cut there visit short.

In between met frineds from college...even some from school. Feels good to talk to friends you know the best...its enjoyable and then to end it all came back with avinash to Singapore.

New job is exciting. Every day is a learning..working with a team..you like is good.

These are better days atleast they look to me so

Long Time No C

"Long Time No C"..a popular slang popular in school is what I can promise this blog as its been such a long time that I was away, nicely tucked up in luxary in the warmnt of near and dear ones that I almost forgot everything, including this blog.

I came to India on 14th December and it turned out to be such exciting time.
Travels..with family with friends, with college mates, eating good foo, shopping, endless phone calls..you name it and I had it.

Went to OOTY then to the beautiful ShivSamudram - Chil Chilla Falls, Chikka Falls, Koorg...a lifeful of memories all captured with my nikon.

BE RIGHT BACK...